Not Forgotten
I hold stones in my hands and lucidly wonder where to cast them... Gems to my artistic eye, and wondering mind-- stupidly letting a few fall through my fingers. Bringers of aimless ponderings on probabilities and possibilities, these stones. Tones within my synapse in a relapse of liabilities and recent hostilities. Sure the responsibilities aren't on me, but I dream of human equality not masquerading frivolity.
I digress, and get back to laying these rocks to rest. Pressed to my palm, those that remain in my hands, are the ones that keep me calm. Bomb-shell the hell out of me and I won't rile. Guile, compassion, understanding and curiosity are the stones which remain. Insane as it may sound, letting the other ones hit the ground doesn't mean they're forgotten.
|| another-proser ||
I don’t really know what I am doing here
I hold stones in my hands
and I lucidly wonder
where to cast them
Should I throw it over the vast sea
and test how deep the water is?
Or should I climb the
high mountains and
see how far it goes?
I closed my eyes as I reminisce
my early childhood days
I remember being asked
What do you want to be?
And I never really answered it
Up to now I couldn't answer
Too coward, terrified that they would just laugh at me
If I followed my heart
Will I be where I am right now?
Will I be able to attain what I wanted to achieve?
Will it change how they perceived me to be?
I never followed my heart
And though I am not satisfied
I am happy with how my life turned out to be
I still hold the stones in my hands
I still have the chance
and I lucidly wonder
where to cast them
Is this the right time
to take the risk of losing them?
Look out
I hold stones in my hands and lucidly wonder where to cast them. Could I break the window with the yellow drapes? No--I'll just kill someone down below. Maybe they deserve to die. What if I kill someone on their way to kill their boss. I could be an unsung hero of the potential future--but what if the boss deserves to die?
What if I killed her. . . The Her. The Her that bought the stupid little fountain that trickles over the rounded stones I was now holding. What if she died? I want her dead but . . . I don't want her 'dead' dead. I wish I was dead. No, I want to live.
I still don't know why the fuck she left.
I poured over all the reasons and nothing makes sense. We fought . . . We fought about how I don't take risks, I was too safe, she needed more. She needed more?
I can do more. Here's a risk--
My arm swung and a little stone flew into the air, glinting in the light. It was black with green veins streaking through it. I always liked that one. Damn.
I’d Love To Be The One To Fan Your Flames But I Think We All Know I’d Smother Them
You're better than me
In every way shape or form
And you're everything I want to be
The words you sung with the choir
Strung from your mouth
So elegantly
They looped and dipped and weaved through the crowd
Like some sort of
Hypnotized crocheter
Imagine that,
You can form quilts with your voice.
Your fire inside
I guess
Burned too brightly for me
It burnt my skin and left me black but most of all
It highlighted my insecurities
I'd love to be the one to fan your flames and rejuvenate your soul
But I think we all know I'd do nothing but suffocate you and cause your fire to blank out
From lack of oxygen
It's ironic though
You're the one who left me in the dark
Not Mine
I hold stones in my hands and lucidly wonder where to cast them, these heat-glowing earth-bones burning my hands in the odd shape of sins. The pain keeps my mind sharp as razor wire, hyper-sensitive to every nuance of subconscious reality unfolding before me.
"I'm aware of my dreaming," my dream-self keeps thinking, tightening her grip on the stones, just an itch-of-a-throw's away from being cast into another pond of plenty-to-be-sickened-by. "Let it steam. Reveal what hides beneath. Confess like I burn and bleed."
The pain feels cleansing, kissing earth-bone to human-bone and still, my dream-self calculates where to throw each stone. "Tell me where you belong," she hums, unconcerned with her hands, no more than bones blackened and browned by the stones; she has no desire to hurry them along.
"One for profit, one for pride, one for the cowards who always hide." I find my dream-lips singing, those bones letting go of the stones almost fleetingly, "one for pollution, one for destruction, and one for humanity's 'ownership' notion."
In surprising revelation, I saw my own hand's regeneration, once the last stone was cast. And in that reality, I came to see, those stone's weren't mine to begin with.
Dream Stream
I hold stones in my hands and lucidly wonder where to cast them. Yet still am I confined to this ghostly setting were trees walk by with clawed root. What horror is this that shambles past with nary a glance. I look out as a stream trickles gently past and on some lost whim I toss the stones with no thought for where they may fall.
The first sinks into the stream causing it foam and rage as if in anger, I step back. The second stone hits the far bank and rolls where it will, coming to rest over a leaf.
I gaze at my handiwork as the sky darkens in ominous retort to my carelessness, and I sense an impending gloom is about to befall me in my peril.
The remaining stones clatter as they fall into a deep hole that has appeared as from nowhere. I take a further backward step, for does not a stairwell lead down into the hole, as the stream now roars at my affront. But no, I am no fool to trust myself below ground with no escape from the beast which beckons me to follow.
I surrender to the torrent.
Bruised And Broken
Sitting in the corner
The corner of the classroom
The corner of cafeteria
The corner of gym
The corner of playground
Always watching from afar,
Always wondering
Wondering why am I
So different, different
That I can't make a friend
That I can't be part of
SOMETHING
Bruised and broken
Soul shattered
Heart mended
Scars deepen
And I'll never, never
Be the saaaaaaaaaaaaaame
I've been taunted
I've been punched
I've been kicked DOWN
And a push come to a shove
I fall, and I fall, and I fall
Yet, I still stand
Yet I still keep on
Smii-iiii-ii-iiiiiilling and trrrrrrrrrrrrrying
I put on a smiling mask,
Covering my crying face
And I wear dark sweater,
Covering scars and wounds
A baggy jeans to hiiiiiiiiide
My skinny legs
2x
Bruised and broken
Soul shattered
Heart mended
Scars deepen
And I'll never, never
Be the saaaaaaaaaaaaaame
Everyone is numbed,
Deafening and everyone
Is bliiiiiiiiiiiiiind
To my agony soul,
Screaming heart,
And crying face
3x
Bruised and broken
Soul shattered
Heart mended
Scars deepen
And I'll never, never
Be the saaaaaaaaaaaaaame
All I want, all I want
Is somebody, somebody
To understand me
All I want, all I want
Is somebody, somebody
To hold me
And SAY
'Don't go, just STAY'
3x
Bruised and broken
Soul shattered
Heart mended
Scars deepen
And I'll never, never
Be the saaaaaaaaaaaaaame
Things Found
A piece of rotten fruit. A folded orange collared shirt. A drop of blood on a blue bed spread. Folded magazines. Glossy smiles and sweet skin. Red walls and a bare room. The sheets are bunched in one corner of the room. The magazines in the other corner.
Things found.
Brown, swollen eyes and shaking hands. A busted lip and a label stuck between his lips. A thing he does not understand.
Something in the dark.
Down the hall from this room a man is crying. He smells of vodka, sick, and grief. He sits beside a man who takes the label from him. Takes it and makes it nothing.
Things of which to be careful.
But these things found are not as grave as you should believe. This is but a small page in a very long book.
Still this plastered man believes his life has finally come to a close. Watching his father die.
I Tried To Make It Gender Neutral
The only thing that keeps me going
Is knowing that someday
I'll get my very own Happily Ever After
And you'll still be stuck in the castle
Because you were waiting on your savior in shining armor
That never came to save you
While you were weeping out the window
I was outside taming the dragon
While you were marking the days on the wall
I was building a bridge to make it across the moat
Sure I got a few splinters and burns
But now I'm free
And you're still stuck
In your Unhappily Ever After
Now I've tamed the dragon
And I fastened a saddle to its back
I've got the clouds ripping through my hair
And the atmosphere wrapped around my body
And you're still stuck in the castle
Choking on smoke and fumes
Waiting, waiting, waiting…
Well Hello
Yo, I'm a traveling magician and Happen have found a dollar in Your hand, you can keep it, no Really! It's ok.
Afternoon Miss,
Need any help?
Yeah, it can be hard raising a kid.
Everything ok?
You look as if you've lost a bid.
But please don't be mad, he was.. Just fixing a mistake, learn he did.
Wish my kids were that smart, Although they are all cats.
I have things to magic, and places To make farts, so here's my card for A rainy day, at your service,
Captain Stray