One Thousand Betrayals
Betrayal is our picture, face down in a drawer.
It's my Facebook page, with no trace of you.
It's your name on my lips in a stranger's bed.
It's the bad choices we've made,
it's what we do.
Betrayal is the 29th day of April.
It's that fear that sent you running far away.
It's the shattered pieces of every single
promise that you broke.
It's the keys you left after you swore to stay.
Betrayal is your phone and all your secrets.
It's a safety measure, never give love your all.
It's your need for validation, it's ego, it's fear.
It's your foolish pride, it'll go when you fall.
Betrayal is my old house on the corner.
It's pulling you
down
while I
fall
into
madness
Betrayal is the match I lit blowing up my life.
It's the reckless, restless ways
we run from sadness.
Betrayal is the last letter you wrote me.
It's a binder full of prettily worded lies.
It's building me up, knowing
You'll knock me right back down.
It's the cold, unfeeling ice in your blue eyes.
Betrayal is the longest day without you.
It's another sleepless night all alone.
You used to wake me from my nightmares.
Betrayal is my heart turning to stone.
Betrayal is a dirt road in the desert.
It's my name on your lips in a stranger's bed.
It's our passions colliding
in the backseat of my car.
It's my fear you'd feel relief if I was dead...
Betrayal is a shot of cinnamon whiskey.
It's fanning flames never meant to burn.
It's being left to clean a mess
I didn't make alone.
It's my own damn fault, I never fucking learn.
Betrayal is that empty house we'd visit.
It's pushing too far past your comfort zone.
It's my legs around your waist,
it's your mouth fused to mine.
It's a Texas girl with no demons of her own.
Betrayal is the way I felt protected.
It's the trust I blindly gave you like a fool.
It's the secrets that I told you
in the middle of the night.
It's the ugly way we both tend to get cruel.
Betrayal is planning for the future.
You made it crystal clear just where I stand.
It's forbidden lust awakened then abandoned.
It's a one way ticket to Texas in your hand.
Betrayal is a frozen margarita.
It's a party, a river, a cookout, it's all so fun.
It's my makeup, it's your cat shirts,
it's our phony plastic smiles.
It's the hateful, ungrateful ways
we're both searching for numb.
Betrayal is a vow made on a cell phone.
It's a snapchat sent, hoping you'll come back.
It's sitting around waiting for a call
that doesn't come.
It's the passive aggressive ways we both attack.
Betrayal is a promise of forever.
It's the ghost of your hand
sliding up my thigh.
Betrayal's what we give,
it's how we've always lived.
We'll betray the ones who love us
until we die.
The constant weight
Desert. Pint. 11:13 p.m.
right now in Barcelona
I'd be doing the same shit
or in Rome
or in Buckeye
the wait transcends
space and time and
ocean
but nobody does it
like they do it in
in the desert
sitting here outside of
it all
outside of the writing
the next book
the next hustle
all the next bullshit
sipping a Kilt Lifter
bonus lime wedges
from the belly shirt
and ass behind the bar
while outside the
moon burns white
above the mountains
drinking to forget
what I haven't done
or will never do
all the precious normality
I admire and despise
the constant condition
the constant weight
and lightness
the constant ghost
the hidden laughing bruise
the sick and tired prostration
before a night slowly wrapping
around us
a lotus dream before
the grip
sitting here at the bar
frontal lobe toggled
head change coming
the tapping in
mystery reopens
as the night moves
across the desert
winding and watching
the dirt and rock
and the grace of
moonlight
burning white
and shining
down
on all of this.
(unfinished thoughts)
when did he teach you how to be a woman?
when did his voice
educate you with its depth of tone
that yours was of a different quality?
when did his hands
start to make yours look small?
did it happen suddenly,
or was it a gradual lesson?
was it slow,
or was your femininity suddenly defined by his male standard, the bar
by which your life would come to be measured-
was it explicit?
when did he show you how to be a woman?
was it when you were still a girl?
was it earlier than that?
was it a part of you, some inevitable blueprint,
a chromosomal foundation activated by some binary chemical reaction?
when did he turn you on?
when did he tell you how to be a woman
not through his actions,
but through a language of otherness,
the father tongue of your motherland?
was it hard to understand at first, or did translating your experience
come easily?
when did he divide your existence from his?
(unfinished thoughts)
Spell. Check (Coming Soon to Prose)
“What the hell was that?!... Jack? Rachel? What the fuck are you doing?... Jack?” I heard her walking toward the door and Rachel grasped my neck, she squeezed and shoved her fingers into my mouth to ensure my complete silence, I could feel them changing, moving, like eels, I gagged, despite my fear and discomfort I tried to shout for Imogen to run but it was too late, she had opened the door and began to walk in...
...Rachel, turned to look at me, her bright red lips curled up into a smile as she flayed Imi’s dress, leaving it scattered on the ground, it was as if some supernatural force had ripped it from her skin, perhaps telekinesis? She was now spread-eagled on the wall in her underwear unable to move. I pulled harder at the tentacled fingers in my throat, they wouldn’t move, my hands felt like they were on fire, my mouth was full of her hand but I bit down hard, hoping this would free me, my teeth felt like hot metal, I could feel fluid streaming down my throat, I hoped it was her blood, but it tasted so good, I just wanted to drink it, I swallowed hard and gagged, the beast was grinning at me, I began to pass out but she shook me violently and drew me nearer, to her face, Rachel’s face; her blackened eyes stared into mine, she licked my cheek and turned my head to stare at Imogen, her tentacles were probing at my girlfriends panty line, delicately lifting the fabric and easing her tentacle like fingers inch after inch into the lace confines, Imi was screaming, muffled despair, her eyes wide with fear and anger, but her verbal sounds of denial and rejection began to subside, she sounded like she was enjoying it, like she was about to...
Extracts from Spell.Check. Coming soon to Prose Collections... Who says horror can't be sexy?...
© Richard Withey. All rights reserved.
Little Blue Whispers
Eyes of blue filled with lust
Sparkling with fairy dust
Captivated on your stare
Time stands still and in stasis we dare
As I step into you
Hands skimming hands searching for the truth
and I find it
In your heated breath on my neck
The trembling of our hearts on this empty deck
Where lips align in dangerous proximity
The anticipation of our darkened affinity
Softly colliding with automatic grace
And tongues entwine in a serpents embrace
And then I slow you...
Still pleasing
Slightly deceiving
and then stop.
Just to watch you pout
Angered lips that want to shout
Red as poppies they shimmer and shine
Longing to be mine
Your eyes pierce me with electrical unease
But I aim to please
Fingers softly trail your face
As I urge you for embrace
I want to share the whispers on your breath
To hear the butterflies around your neck
As they struggle for release
and receive their wish when our lips again meet
delicately touching
On a prelude of wanton bliss
Where compulsion now twists
into little blue whispers
The comfort of belonging
and the wildness of abandon
Amber harbour lights implore your skin
Dispelling shadows on a figure of sin
As your stare intensifies
Discarded clothing by our side
Skin to silk and then skin once more
As passion oozes from every pore
Fingertips teasing the edges of lace
My hands at your waist
On silky thighs I wallow
and place silent kisses on your hips
Silk on my knuckles, you in my grip
As I find the button that puts stars in your eyes
Beseeching me to set you free
Stifled cries of ecstasy
Tell me that you have your wish...
© Richard Withey. All rights reserved.
Unloved
I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
All the times we were together,
I never really mattered
All you see is what you want
My heart is being shattered
Now I dont wanna see you anymore
Don't wanna be the one to play your games
Not even if you smile your sweetest smile
Not even if you beg me darling please.
1st stanza: lyrics from "One Last Cry" by Brian McKnight, 2nd stanza: lyrics from "stuck" by Daren Espante, 3rd stanza: lyrics from "Stiches and Burns" by Fra Lippo Lippi)
