Hi it's me again.

I have been absent for a while now I know. It's because there's been so much stuff happening within my life. It's hard to make time to write. It's not because I don't have time actually, but because I don't make the time to write when I have it. I feel that I am letting you the follower down by not writing every so often. It makes me stressed and guilty. However I do it anyway because other things are more important right now. Stubborn I know. I'm twenty three years old. It's gotten to this point in life where I have to start finding myself, truly finding myself. To stop over exaggerating careers and start thinking what my strengths really are. Making things work to become reality, in my reality. I am bound today as much as I was years ago but with a twist. I look the part and feel the part this time. Or could this just be another phase. I suppose life's all a phase. A rush of emotion with no time to savor it and by the time you try its to late. Your life's past and nothing really changes. Nothing big anyways. I guess i'll have to go. Things need done and life needs lived. Hopefully you can leave here with a positive note. A note that could say "Change is good".

Sorry.

I feel like that was the best way to explain my current situation. I have been inactive for a while only because my real life has been busy. I have recently became a Young Ambassador for the Prince's Trust. They are a big charity that work with many walks of life. Whether that's to help them with a job or to help them with an interview overseas. I'm also still on Job Seekers. They are the benefit system over here through the government. I'll be on it for a while. But I have a course coming up at the end of the month, I'll get a certificate in Security. So hopefully I can become a "Booncer" as we like to call them, a doorman would be their usual term.

I also have my fathers wedding at the end of the month also. It has been pushed forward for certain circumstances within the family. I'm not quite ready yet to talk about it. I'm also the best man at his wedding which is a huge honor. I never saw it coming so it's a big responsibility. I take those important roles very seriously. There's only a few things left to sort out and then its all a go. 

I've also just recently went to my local Airsofting club. It was amazing. Going again in a few weeks. It was always a hobbie id like to take up but I never had the money to do it. It's all been down to my family and girlfriend that's managed to make it come true. I love them a lot, not because of money, but because they take the time to see what I love to do and what my visions are that id love to make come true. 

We live our lives thinking we know what to expect. But really we have no idea what's around the corner. I know that Prose is an excellent way to share and tell our experiences and knowledge. I wish I took more time to commit to it as much as my heart would like to. I guess it will all just, take time. Thank you for reading this all the way through, even if it was all for nothing. It means i'v connected with you regardless. Thank you.

I've been told one of my primary teacher's retiring and that there will be a memory book. So I wrote a little something for her.

Hi Mrs ******. It’s good to hear your doing well. And I hear your just about to retire. I hope these memories fill your heart with pride and joy. After all, you have made many pupils succeed in their education. A lot of them will have a story to tell. Myself are amongst them. I want you to know that at the time of teaching me I was going through a rough time. That every time I went to school I knew I was being taken care of. You made me smile when I was feeling down. You made me laugh when I wanted to cry. One memory has always stuck by me when you taught our class. One day you decided to have a fun day with the class. More specifically you got up onto the table and sang Ian Dury – Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick. Or at least that’s how I remember it. You got up onto the table and had a little dance with the drum stick pretending it was the microphone. You had our class and next doors class in hysterics. You made us all happy. You made me happy, letting me forget about home. I never thought a teacher would do such a thing. That’s what made me love you as a teacher even more. You showed us hope. That we meant something and that we shouldn’t waste our life away to the bad things that surround us in life. We have all shared a heart warming memory with you. So I hope this book gives you an insight to how much you mean to me, to all of us. You have my utmost respect and gratitude. I wish you a well relaxing retirement. Thank you.

You took us by hand with your teaching. Opened up our minds to new adventures. But most of all, you touched our hearts with your loving, caring personality.

- Ryan Aitken

Dear Love

I'm writing to you because I fear I may never get the chance to see you again. As hard as it is to read its true. It's vital that I write this, it's the only way I can contact you if anything happens to me. Forgive me for not writing sooner. They have us locked down pretty tight. I hope you understand.

From the moment I met you I knew you were the one. You were the key to solving me completely. You made me numb and I made you smile. We were the perfect couple. I still remember the scent of your hair and my hands around your waist like it was yesterday. I can still remember that joke we spent all night laughing at. I know I haven't written in a long time. You know how it is. Before everything, before I even laid eyes on you. I made myself a promise. To treat whoever I fall in love with, with care and love to the best of my ability. So I have kept a safe. I saved up as much as I could. Before coming back home I would travel there and put some money away for our family.

It's behind the small building near the Forrest. I took you there on our first date remember. Our little secret we said. What I want you to do is to get yourself a home and make all the preparations for whats to come. You will need all the help you can get before you attend to her. I know it must be hard. I can't imagine. But please believe me that I tried my hardest no matter how hard it truly was.

I always imagined us growing old and seeing her running around giggling and smiling, having no care in the world. I can see her being a little devil just like her mother. I want you to promise me. Promise me you will find happiness again. Find a man that can stay with you. Make sure he treats you properly. God only knows what I'd do if anyone treated you wrongly otherwise. I want the best possible life for her. Get her to a school of good education and a place with nice people. I don't want her ending up in trouble.

This is it, I have to go. We have to depart in ten minutes. Call her Annabelle. You know I like that name. Don't let her date till she's eighteen. Make sure It's a gentleman that walks into her life. Might just be half as charming as I am.

Right, I really have to go. I hope you find peace within your heart to find happiness again. Tell her I love her and that I will always be by her side and in her heart.

I love you. Always.

Personal Development is key to pursuing your dream. Be mindful of who's around you. Do not let negative energy drag you down. Use that negative energy and recycle it, make it become positive energy. You will see thing's shine in a different light than before if you recycle that negative energy. To make negative energy become positive energy all you have to do is believe that you can achieve what you want. If you can make yourself think that to yourself then you can do it for yourself. Then you will have all the reason to do it. Recycling that negative energy to a more positive one will make your dreams happen. Be positive.

Do what you love, not what people tell you to do. There's times where you have to step up, take charge and lead your life the way that you want to live your life. Be that person you want to be tomorrow. I see people complain about things in their life not being good enough, that's because they've never really tried to deal with the problem. It will be hard, of course it will be. We have instinct to survive. Use that to seek what you want in life. Then you will feel what its like to do what you love instead of making someone else's dream come true. Do it for you. Make it happen.

Not only do you have all these emotions that can get in the way. You have a strong mind to keep them restricted. Don't let them surpass that barrier where you could potentially let it control you. When instead you have the power to control it. Feel what you want to feel. So tomorrow can be a better day.

Today I bought a book by Tony Robins. Unshakeable. I struggle with keeping money, which is one thing I need to change. I am willing to Commit to whatever means necessary to pursue my dream. It will not be easy. But if you hit hard you will get hard. Those weights I'm doing, I'm much bigger than I was in my last posts. Why? because I aim hard so I get hard. Commit.