More than yesterday

And days before

Today was the hardest yet

To wake up and live

There is no strength left

My fight is lost

Physically and mentally

Everything aches

Please don't wake me

When tomorrow comes

I have had both

Words

Leave scars

Upon my memories

Where happiness once resided

And hands

Bruise my body

When all it begged for

Was comfort.

I am strong enough

To endure the hurtful hands

That once ravaged my surface

But there is no fight left

Inside the depths of my soul.

it is the time of night

you choose to call morning.

i am memorising your mouth

and the slip of your voice,

thinking of another way

to fall in love with you.

i have called you beautiful

more than i have kissed you,

and your tongue is so familiar.

even when we are alone

in my car, and it's dark out,

you laugh without being afraid.

the shape of your eyes, the colour,

keeps me awake at four a.m.,

when i am waiting for you

to come home. come to bed —

the city is sleeping, and you are

some kind of heat beyond warmth.

now it is my teeth and your thighs,

your voice slipping through

the silence, turning this temple

into a white mausoleum;

and i am taking out a mortgage,

making home out of horror,

making romance

out of this sacrilege.