I'm the work

Of a clock

That's missing

Teeth

On tiny

Gears

To ensure

It's accuracy

Time gets lost

On me

And

In me

Always

I show up

Early

And leave

Even earlier

Under-staying

My welcome

By vanishing

In shadows

Of "I thought

I saw him here"

Off to a comfortable

Place

Of unnamed arms

To hold me tight

Like lovers do

All night

I'm a whisper

Of loud goodbyes

And quiet hellos

At will & random

On my own terms

I play by my rules

Because I know them

And don't yours

Unsure makes me

Squeamish

To point of

The only times

I wish

And I'll wish

To be anywhere

Where the

Discomfort

Of existing

Eats

Holes

Through

My

Feelings

Leaving

Me

In

Despair

Every word

Every thought

Planned out

And analysed

Your face

Just a front

A mask of control

Walls you built up

As you crumble inside

You look so together

As you fall apart more

The words you hear

The hurt you feel

Hidden away

Just out of site

Your heart falls to pieces

As you put on the mask

You never let go

And always hold back

Just you all alone

And nobody else 

There was once a man from Montenegro

Who hated whenever bacteria regrew

He saw himself as clean

And lived life serene

Until he was diagnosed with Degos

Children can be brutal

Pecking at wounds and ripping off broken limbs

to feed the pack of hungry who gather around the different ones

And I must have been a victim once with pieces of me passed around

From mouth to mouth until they all were satisfied

But I barely remember it

Or maybe I recall in my mind the telling of it more than the actual event

where I was painted a story with the details I've heard so many times

and convinced myself I remember it for myself

But I must have been there since I'm the main character

and it must have happened like she said since her details are so vivid

I was the one that was different, the one that got devoured by their laughter

This was the event that supposedly started it all

Years of disappointment and failure

Because she brought it up every time I turned out to look

like something she didn't want me to be

This is all because of that one time

That one time...

Just that one time way back when

When you wore pants to Sunday school and all the other girls wore dresses

And she heroically takes the blame and says it was her fault

"I should have known. Something told me to put you in a dress

and I didn't listen to that voice and now you are ruined

Now you will never be who you were supposed to be

Because now you want to look like the wicked world"

And I never understood the moral of her story

as she cried and she ripped me into small, chew-able pieces

and threw them into her mouth to devour me

one by one

piece by peice

until she was satisfied

until I look like she wanted me to and consisted of nothing

You don't deserve her,

You're not worth her time.

Can't believe you took her from me

Or that I'm wasting these rhymes.

I can't stand you boy,

She was supposed to be my girl.

But you stepped into the scene

And threw her for a whirl.

I've always loved that woman

She was fine, mine in the first place.

I had to fight for her 9th grade

But lost when I gave her chase.

Never gave me a thought

Until we became the best of friends.

Then we tried once she lost her way

Hoped to that next level we'd ascend.

But no, one date in,

You said it wouldn't work.

Had my feelings bent

And cried all the way to church.

I mean yeah

A different dude took your v card.

But this dude now?

Never be as close as we are.

So of course im jealous

Took it with a salt grain.

Because now I'm filled with hurt,

Pain when I hear y'all's names.

You told me you ain't like him,

But now your lives advanced.

I'll never like you with him,

But I guess I had no chance

Eleven o'clock

on the dot.

They're taking over

my thoughts.

It's growing quiet

outside.

It's growing loud

in my mind.

I'm screaming

on paper.

I'm dreaming

wide awake.

It's that time

of the night,

when my demons

come out to play.

Your words like constellations

turned into stardust.

They lingered

through the galaxy

that is my mind.

Your touch like moonbeams

lit me up inside.

Felt bright like the stars

but even they die.

To my misfortune,

I was merely a satellite

revolving through space.

You were a meteoroid

headed my way.

We collided.

We shattered.

That was our fate.

Damn the black hole

that devoured our pieces.

Left no trace,

we've been completely erased.