forever guilty
staring out at the sky,
i heard you ask something.
i don’t know what,
but i felt your arm tugging at mine
for desperate attention.
but the endless clouds were too captivating.
the sun was going down,
and the orangepinkblue horizon was beautiful.
melting, i was a bubble of happiness.
and so i murmured,
“yes. sure, whatever.”
i think you whispered "thank you," and left eventually.
and finally, i was at peace.
as i slept, i dreamt of being a hazy cloud
with limitless freedom to be.
the next day, i woke to find many missed calls.
friends and family.
they gave condolences.
for what,
my sleepy mind did not know.
but i soon found out,
you had taken your life.
i soon found out,
you had asked me to call you in the morning, and if you
didn’t answer,
to call 911.
that you didn’t know
if you would make it
so you needed my promise to call.
the next time i say “yes”
i’m actually going to listen to the
question.
...Little Bird...
A sing-song giggle and then a gasp,
I stir and wonder what has passed.
Then a little sob escapes nearby
As a tiny, saddened child draws nigh
With bobbing curls of golden hair
She leans against my workplace chair
“Francis, look, it’s broken again,” she says,
Her hands cupped gently around the mess
Of a singing bird, now silent, twisted gears.
I watch her brown eyes pool with tears,
“Can you fix it?” she asks, and I wonder
To fix the bird, or her heart torn asunder
By years of neglect and abuse and pain
And all that she’s suffered again and again.
This singing bird was her dearest toy
And, other than me, her only joy.
When she came to me, her life was grief
My gift, the tiny bird, her only relief
The bird, a knowledge and craft now lost,
cannot be fixed, and I fear and hate the cost
Shall my little girl now have to suffer
For my failure to care for her better?
Because I cannot fix what time has torn
From man’s mind and skill now shorn.
“Not this time,” I whisper to her softly,
My eye landing on the wing glued poorly.
I take from her hands all the fragile bits
And place them on my workbench to sit
Until such a time as a man remembers
How to repair without age-old answers.
Her brown eyes crinkle as the tears fall,
But she brushes them aside with a smile.
“That’s okay,” she says to me, glowing
Her arms around me tightly throwing.
“I have you still, that’s all I need.
Just stay with me,” she gently pleads.
My heart is in tears, so happy with relief
As I fondly hug her back and gratefully agree.
My Oak Gent
It’s broken again.
Oh no! Not again!?
What’s different?
Not much; I used to cry; now I grin.
Grin!? WHY grin!? He DID IT, AGAIN!
But THIS time I saw it coming and readied the ships.
Took ahold my resolve.
Doubled-up on defense.
Sipped a cup warm tea, and watched for the slip.
And slipped up he did! Oh, my it was glib!
It was all I could do not to laugh myself sick!
The fumble felt ageless, but the respite was quick.
And when I returned, saw nothing but sticks.
Tiny, weak branches I could break with a pinch.
Was all that remained of my sturdy oak gent.
Denying his darkness, thought light of his crimes.
It’s broken again. Can you fix it?
Not this time.
#Wonder_Land