She can seduce with one word

and reduce with the same

She can place on a pedestal

or put to shame

It's the "in between"

that makes her flesh crawl

For she gives everything

or nothing at all

Sat there once now I sit there again but,

Something has changed. I used to steal glances your way.

I had secret thoughts I never told.

I’d laugh at your jokes no matter how stupid they were (stupid they were) but, now

There’s words in my head, knots in my heart,

I don’t know what to do I’m falling apart (falling apart)

I can’t stay strong no matter how hard I try.

I’m falling apart.

I sat there once loving you but, now

I’m wondering where we went wrong (went wrong).

I sit there missing all the kisses we shared under the moon (under the moon).

I find it kind of funny how we shared our last kiss not two days before you shared a few hundred with her.

I used to be happy but, now

There’s words in my head, knots in my heart,

I don’t know what to do I’m falling apart (falling apart)

I can’t stay strong no matter how hard I try.

I’m falling apart.

I sat there with you right next to me skipping rocks but, now

I sit there in a heartbreaking silence (heartbreaking silence).

I sit there feeling as though I’m falling under the tide.

I don’t know how to keep from drowning in the love we once shared because

There’s words in my head, knots in my heart (in my heart).

I don’t know what to do, I’m falling apart (apart).

I don’t know how to keep from drowning because I can’t stay strong.

I can’t help but fall apart.

Life is but a game of chess

To play without remorse

Your future filled with promise

And the checkerboard your course

Your youth and beauty

Pawns and knights

Your bishops are your vigor

Your steely rooks, ambitious fight

And your most precious queen

Your ego and your stamina

And everything between

And when you have been stripped of those

The king becomes your fate

Your legacy and health because

Death accepts no stalemates

There once was a little girl who looked down into a well. She leaned on the stone edge and listened to the dark  wind coming from bellow. A desire to touch the water spread through her skin. She did, with the tip of one finger. The next day she managed to get all her hand wet. The third day she fell in.

it's funny how things change 

so rapidly

so quick

you can't put your finger on the moment 

before you are sent into spins

finding yourself on the other side

half way around full circle

competing with yourself

and you feel like a lost cause

rejected 

pacified

sent as far as earth will let one be sent away

you feel incomplete in this new oneness

when all the times you can recollect 

in a past not far left behind 

was you 

filling in the emptiness

was you

making me whole

now I awake

after all the pushing and pulling

and tearing out my hair

and being sent a half a world away

I find myself filling in my own self

finding completeness without you 

and wondering how could I have ever thought

I needed you 

when the whole time you were 

kicking and screaming

from inside of me

trying to get out

trying to be rid of me 

of us

it never was 

it never was

you only filled in the spaces 

that you also emptied

sending my very self

out against me

it was you 

it was you

that made me empty

in the first place 

it's by gods graces 

that I'm half a world away from you

or I might decide to detonate 

and rid this whole damn world 

of your face. 

I'm glad I realized how much you were so afraid to love

because all you feel is hate 

all you do is destroy the beauty in things

self included

so I guess I'll leave you to it

you will self destruct yourself 

eventually 

I already know

so I guess I'll keep my hands to myself 

and just enjoy the show. 

In a perfect world, I would wake up with you when you got up for work and make you a fresh pot of coffee, throw a towel in the dryer so it would be warm when you got out, kiss you goodbye at the door. I would spend my day cleaning up the house and balancing your checkbook. You would come home to dinner, even if it wasn't as good as what you could make. I would play video games with you sometimes, even though I'm terrible at them. Every once in a while we would spend your days off up in the hills, driving around and hiking to the places a car can't go. If I had loved you like that- the way you deserve to be loved, then you would still love me, too. But I'm not a people person. You like having your friends around. I don't. I would rather be alone with you. And that's selfish, to want you all to myself. You need to be who you are, and I need to be who I am. That's why I'll never tell you I still love you, even when you kiss me out of habit. I'll pretend it's nothing and laugh it off, even though my heart races. I'll break my heart every day, just to watch yours heal.

Purple knocked on the door politely. He was sweating as if he had just exited the sauna. She always nagged and told him he was wound too tight. That he needed to relax. Too stressed. She was worried he was going to burn himself out with the amount of work he was continuing to pile up. That's when she made the call for him. Purple's friends said he's a nice guy, just an 'average Joe' who owned the local coffee shop, sold to smoke, and did some day trading on his days off. Green, they called him. 

Green opened the door and immediately recognized Purple. He had a suit that wasn't tailored and tie that looked like it was strangling the poor guy. He couldn't help but chuckle.

"Come take a seat, my man. First session is on me."

Have I gone crazy?

A question I asked myself

This poor old thing with a poor own mindset

Have I gone crazy?

I repeatedly ask

My heart, my soul, my mind is in trance

Have I gone crazy?

I ask all of my friends

The shadows, the creatures, the companions inside my head

Have I gone crazy?

I ask my mother upstairs

Who’s always weeping upon seeing her son that is wrecked

Have I gone crazy?

I finally asked

The people around me who are wearing white

Who just stares at me relentlessly as they judge me throughout the night

Have I gone crazy?

I ask these 4 white walls

In which the question echoed throughout these asylum halls

Have I gone crazy?

“Why yes you have..”

I looked to see my other self, smiling behind my back

Now it is your turn to tell me

The truth might set me free

Have I truly gone crazy? Or are you just another figure of speech..

I cry silently in this pitch black room

I have nothing but loneliness to fill my gloom

So I grab my pen and grab some paper

And continue to write all my feelings and anger

To my lonely self the only friends I’ve gained

So far are these two remarkable things

My pen and my paper,

Not much if you think

But for 10 years of my life they were the ones I’m with

Whenever they visit me, I’d feel better

Amazing on what they do to me, Just by writing a few words here in my paper

Yet so here I am still,

Shedding every silvery tear

In this pitch black room where me & my friends had continued to live