Brownies do exist, but they are full of sugar and not only make you fat but you can feel your teeth rot when you bite into one. Pookie-Bear would never allow all that sugar (as I could have a heart attack). No, I must maintain a maximum weight of one hundred twenty-five pounds at 5’11 in order to live forever. It is the only way. Therefore… no brownies for me, just plenty of Brussels sprouts.

Or, if it is canniballistic tendencies you have and it is the Brownie Organization you are talking about (the grammar in your challenge is insufficient for me to qualify what kind of brownie you mean), then you are a very sick person and should seek immediate help!

When I was a kid, there was a chocolate drink called a “Brownie”. They were similar to a “Yoohoo”. You could only get one from one of those machines where you opened a narrow, vertical glass door on the left hand side of the vending machine. Your options once opened would consist of 3 rows of Cokes (in the old style glass bottles), 2 rows of RC’s, a row of Fresca, and the Brownie’s were always at the very bottom, where little hands could easily reach them. Sugar-free and diet sodas were not even invented yet back in those days.

Yea, I wish I was drinking a Brownie right now… not eating one. Because if I was drinking a Brownie right now it would be 1972. “The Day the Music Died” would be on the radio. My parents would still be married, and Brooks Robinson, Louis L’Amour and Hee-Haw would still be relevant… good things all, in my book.

My Grannies would still be alive if I was drinking that Brownie in 1972, and Damned ’Ole Bear, my first dog (for some unknown reason my dad added the “Damned ‘Ole,” but it stuck). The neighbors always got a kick out of that toe-head, seven year old walking down the street demanding of them, “Y’all seen my Damned ’Ole Bear?”

Yea, I wish I was drinking a Brownie right now. That would be nice. Very nice.

I can almost taste one now.

Brownies, THE square baked good of the baking world. They are only second to one thing, which is THE circular baked good of the baking world. I know this as I am an expert, not just self-proclaimed at that.

Brownies are the delicious, typically, chocolaty baked good. They are described as a ‘square of rich chocolate cake’ however I assure you that they are much more than just that. They are happiness in a square, childhood in a pan. The end of most of the worlds problems for as long as they’re still around to be eaten.

As for your questions…

Do brownies exist?

Obviously, otherwise why would you be able to google them?

Are they tangible?

Most certainly, I myself have come across them multiple times before in tangible form.

Can I quantify them?

No, they are far to many and great for even I to do so. Probably less than cookies though.

Why am I not eating one?

I don’t know. And I am horrifically sad now that I am not. So I shall sit here, at who knows what time at night, laying awake and wishing for brownies.

"We run into the problem of definitions with this little conundrum." He said, leaning back in his leather easy chair, puffing on his pipe. "For there are several different meanings to the word 'brownie'.

"I'll cover just the three that spring instantly to mind and answer your questions in turn for each of them."

"1: Do brownies exist?

"Of course.

"Are they a tangible phenomenon?

"As a small, rectangular chocolate flavoured fudgey delight, of course they are. It'd be a little difficult to enjoy them if they were imaginary.

"Can you quantify them?

"I wouldn't even care to try to come up with an estimate. Millions must be made each day and I'm not a professor of baking.

"Why aren't you eating one?"

He reached for his plate and plucked up a sweet treat, taking a bite. "That's simple, because I'm eating a profiterole."

"2: Do brownies exist?

"Of course."

"Are they a tangible phenomenon?

"Most certainly. I've met a few people who were members, my sister included. As some of the audience may not be from the United Kingdom, a brownie in this sense, is a small girl, too young to join the girl guides. The female equivalent of a cub scout, though, I have heard the boy scout movement began admitting girls a few years ago..."

"Can you quantify them?"

"Again, as someone who pays little interest in youth organisations, I wouldn't care to try. I'm not even aware if they've gone into a decline in recent years."

"Why aren't you eating one?

"Because I'm not a monster? I'm not a child murderer, or cannibal?"

"3: Do brownies exist?

"This is a problematic question to which the best answer is, unlikely.. It is however, impossible to prove a negative. I would personally say no, but many people still believe in fairies, so, who knows? Maybe they do.

"Are they a tangible phenomenon?

"If they exist, they are reputed to be on the helpful end of the faerie spectrum, and they wouldn't be able to help much if they couldn't move things about, so., if they exist, yes. But as I don't think they do, I'll say no, they're just fairy stories. The result of an overactive imagination. So no."

"Can you quantify them?

"For the side of the argument where they do exist, no. For the side where they don't, yes. There are zero, none, zilch.

"Why aren't you eating one?

For the "They exist" side, have you ever seen a faerie? More, have you ever captured one? If, by some extraordinary chain of events, you managed to, killing and eating it would be an incredibly dangerous thing to do. The faerie folk are, as you've proven them to exist, a notoriously vengeful, petty, vindictive people with access to magic. Kill and eat one of their kind and there'd be hell to pay. Om the they don't exist side of the argument, because they don't exist, of course."

How I like to make a user (or proser) feel special and welcome in this online community is to create a series of theme challenges to help strengthen and boost their creative writing.

Speaking of theme challenges, there's one coming up shortly, and it's one that will chill you to your bones. ;)