scream in frustration and pain and sun and rain and everything that there ever was

cry in failure and shame and expectations and stress and let down and failure failure a mask

push it in with all the energy of a raging fire or a whirlwind storm and lightning bolts

feel the peace

finally released

emotions unleashed

held back

for so long it itches

sounds alarm

and then they run free

with all speed

to the playground

Raise your eye gaze at the shattered body you called yours

I pity my pathetic figure as I locked behind me 20 doors

Your flaws became a poem I prayed to forget and die

A vision of the hands I called home on someone else no deny

Seeing those hands marked with a different scent than mine

Your face shows no remorse but proud to be on cloud nine

Live your fantasies for I am real

Quite high than your mistress, I’ll make you kneel

WARNING: Feelings unleashed

I'm so sick of the pat answers. "God is trying to get your attention". "God is wanting you to turn back to him". "You're not right with God, that's why this is happening".

Fuck you. And the high horse you rode in on.

Was God trying to get your attention when you lost that baby?

Were you out of sorts with God when your father passed away?

Was God hoping you'd turn back to him after that fatal car crash?

Fuck all of you Christians who think that everything in life is because of something good or bad I've done.

I wish it had been your son sentenced to 50 years.

I wish It had been your daughter molested.

Then maybe you would understand that life isnt fair, and there is no rhyme or reason to why certain things happen. They just do.

So fuck you. And you too, God, for not answering my prayers.