Through these newborn eyes, I see

lilting cradle song of bitter regret

unraveled thread of my sweater

latched onto your bracelet

holding on to amethyst shadow hours

security blanket pulled away

as I scream for our broken bond

given away like powder of snow

scattered in slanted frozen air

icicles stabbing my heart

doomed to stumble again and again

through wretched tinsel streets

clutching on to fragile walls.

Why didn’t you want me?

Through these newborn eyes I see,

What was and is and won't be,

I see when we first ever met,

Your thoughts and mine,

Weren't so far apart.

I see our passion the first time?

Our bodies moved as one,

We flew ever so high.

I see every kiss we ever kissed,

See the weight and shape,

The feel of your lips.

I see the times we missed.

The shame and guilt,

Everytime you turned your face away.

Through these newborn eyes I see.

What was, what is, what will never be.

Through these newborn eyes 

I see

Scorched earth

And smoldering bridges

Through these newborn tears

I feel

Sick at heart

And repulsed at soul

Through these newborn fears

I hope

The damage 

Is repairable 

Over these newborn years

I forgave

Myself

Can you?

Through these newborn eyes, I see my husband

Through his laughter, I feel my husband's soul

Through his skin, I can hear my husband's heart

Through his eyes I see him growing up and asking me the dreaded question where  is his daddy?

But I could never tell him the dreaded truth he was gone , he's not hanging out with angels, he sleeping in another bed with another woman.

But now he has grown up , he looks a little different than his daddy 

My baby is the one with the big blue eyes the one standing tall

the one smiling with his toothless smile, the one trying to catch butterflies.

the one who runs around the neighborhood with a superman cape and I am the crazy mom running after him with a bowl chicken noodle soup in the middle of December .

he turns around with those eyes as big as his daddy

his voice as loud  as his daddy  it brings me back to the day his daddy was there in the hospital  and yelled to the whole world we got a baby boy 

His skin is sweaty and shivers in the cold and turns around and looks at me with teary eyes and says I wish daddy was here.

Me too bud .............. 

Through these newborn eyes, i see 

warmth of mother lap,

winking , shutting the shutters of eyelids

for a dropping moment

opening up ...

experiencing new undeciphered 

stills ,moving images

trying to make sense with visionary sense 

but remain insensible

pouring out reactions 

of different facial expressions 

happiness, sadness

meaningless for me 'but source of happiness 

of reaction of others.

Through these newborn eyes

I see

Wonderland of riddles and rattles.

Love, Hate, Curiosity and Ambition.

People full of chatter and tattle.

Hopes, Challenges, Fears and Temptation.

Man comes here to conquer all battle.

Some loose and some master it all.

World beyond my little ride of saddle.

Faces of Death has brought wisdom in all.

Through these newborn eyes I see lifeless bodies before me.

Persecution and carnage have unraveled.

I hear cries of help, suppressed by hate.

As my mother is torn from my clench, I scream for her embrace.

Dust settles around me without clarity.

All that's left is the ringing of silence.

Through these newborn eyes I see the hell they create.

Through these newborn eyes I see the parents that should have been mine. I clench my fists as I watch from their eyes. They stole the life I should have had. I feel my hands getting hotter. 

"Stupid baby," I mutter.

I suddenly feel heat at my feet. I look down and see the ground on fire. 

"Crap." I say and try to calm down. I make it out of the house, the smoke burning my throat. I may immune to fire, but I'm NOT immune to the smoke and ashes. I collapse to the ground  scream. 

Luckily my parents are at the hospital. Sadly they are there with their newborn, the one who doesn't have powers. My parents won't have to deal with teaching them to control them. Not like they did with me.

Through those newborn eyes I saw the parents that should have been mine. 

Through these newborn eyes, I see light but so much darkness. I see joy but so much pain, love with so much hatred and friends who are double faced. I've seen death with so much life and breath with so much sorrow but one thing that remains the same is the truth I have learned to look for. With experiences comes obstacles; with obstacles comes pain; with pain comes strength and with strength comes victory. Although there are different ways to see the world, through these newborn eyes I see through lies with honesty and simple mindedness with curiosity. Not everyone will be able to see things the way you do but with these newborn eyes you'll learn because to you, everything looks new.