i stumbled  a stone midway

and you pulled my hand 

towards thee

i lost myself here

but you founded me without any crease. 

 i sat in dark and wept

but you trailed my tears

with lovewords in my ear while weeping my tears.

i closed my eyes to dream

but your illusionary  filled me

i recall the moment when we used to sail  together

 found you floating with me 

in hands in hands as i can visually illusionary of you and me  see

i held you as you were mine alone 

and you kissed the desire in me 

i asked you every time

wherever i stuck by 

chance

and you always made me float by 

my own

i asked about you  

from your friend 

acquainted  to me

but you suddenly appeared behind me

shutting the shutters of eyes 

for making your presence feel by 

me

whatelse to say and see

make you specail as you 

always will remain 

for me

but in memory 

till the time you 

are on/ tunned for foreign 

leave and 

donot  agian sit besides me

 sharing  your feeling and thoughts 

as i filmed in poetic form 

but in your own version of photographs

clicked alone on foreign tour 

pics of me created by you 

all alone

for expressing plethora of love in naive form. 

hishing sound, patched clothes with blankness

dull sunshine  with all blemishes of blackness

running mid between the moonlight road

staggering with her own foots 

just  of male Woolf es  

with lustrous eyes in a pack 

those must be drowned 

in firey ocean 

thinking about blankness she  hold 

at that time 

when she was caught in the trap 

and victimized

making her  owned self identity 

publicized 

as she  was noticed aftermath 

of last fiery night 

being all alone lying aside  

on the sunlight road

is this  my night job?

 westernized  clothes 

that make me prey of bunch of  male 

because of their uncontrolled biological

instinct conventionally sailed in ocean of prevailing thoughts

they do not feel to control or hold 

because a woman  westernized freely 

 feel to play  their role 

 as  commodity as their flavor for shortened 

westernized clothes 

as  aftermath reactionary public say 

oh sorry i do not mean to say this 

their clothes make them victimized 

 this is their biological 

instinct that mean to stare and say 

whatever they feel at heat of moment 

 to unchanged conventional mode of pleasure 

of verbal sexual abuse i must say

but do  woman 

react in this way 

because they are in need of change 

so to say 

rather then shutting victimize in 

closet

 open up in different way 

so that male biological dominance in any 

form also need to get victimize in 

different ways 

poetic expression,  court justice, 

not sexual pleasure when a woman do not feel 

she is ready to play as  heat of moment life  

partner as uncontrolled instinct of man aroused 

to feel and touch thee 

but sorry i am not ready for you today 

let do it another day 

so man  

need to know 

woman also grab  instincts 

but learned to control

not to troll

 when expressed freely 

as man do.

 let make them 

victimize too

 preach them 

your instinct must be for one 

as you think we must own for one 

not as commodity 

as you made me 

last night 

by publishing female within me

how i will make me believe 

a guy will not haunt me 

who will hold me 

as you expressed 

i was at fault 

not you 

because these are biological instincts

must be fueled 

or my duty at night 

must pay 

what to do

but slap this thought process 

conventionallized by society 

being victimized in this way 

or some other way from time 

long 

not in snail way but in 

rain way turned 

in thunderstorm way

methods as i suggested 

so that the sword of victimize 

at very base level reacting in different 

modes must not cease but reach at its heyday 

so that martyr of a victimize woman

must be paid  

 homage in different way by reacting at 

and changing mosaic pattern at bases laid. 

While in school

tiffin boxes seems like tyranny

what to have or not have

to share with friends

whose tiffin is better that whose.

being

tyranny on

child

ask mother to cook

something speacial Showing brain game of instant learning

rather than brain drain

as new to do without frowning

how as child i used to get pissed off with playing while sexual harssment and how my mother used to keep me in closest without providing us with true knowldge but the cruel tabboed environment Scroches inside my vein till time how i lived heinous crime of being ignorant.this being real definition of ignorant still haunts me

thought, random thoughts

still prompts

without scrolling, its own thought

thoughts , creativity of someone else

what is hidden behind.

sometime deep knowledge , sudden gush

particular interest

field yet to unfold.

random thoughts garlanded in petal forms

opening up one by one,

when needed to unfold taking its own space and form

when budded out as mature flower.

sometime broken here and there

petals folding and molded.

but those petals still have scent feeled

when just touched that may be

deep rooted inside also.

emotions, thoughts to deeply uproot

so echo can be made in dimed voice or sudden roar.

i roar,

my innerself roar ,

till time not hallicunated with a pill of attraction.

but when that attraction become senseless,

i again roar

with inner self concisouss thought

what to lose the real identity

touch of that being

who was magnetic.

still coined permanant image in me.

but that image of attraction may be surreal

create fibre of whole fabric

what an individual being.

i love thee ,

love of thee,

like acrs of needles always peirced me

thorugh distance maintained by thee

as widest arc of scissor without

cutting clothe

leaving strains on sciccor used when opened

widest.

negiation for everything

every moment why should do this task 

but those negitations led to drown 

in negative hellinistic world 

that i turn so insane 

in doing routine core of not mudding up beautiful home

but my ownself in messed up form

untied, uncombed hairs like a mad doll.

trolling in home here and there

how can now i regain sweet beautiful 

form what i used to behold 

untill the time i learned 

to frown at every tiny  job 

how to delearn when i turn around like a mad doll

still snail and roar all around 

entire home 

is this my inner soul 

what try to reroll my beauty form 

when i move outside and socialize myself 

with aquatiences and non aquantieces 

self consiciousness of being presentable 

cakewalk without any worry 

but those mean no more

new social world led me to new frown.

i wish i could watch 

people fight together

i wish i could watch 

people not dine together

i wish i could watch 

folk 

don’t watch movies together

hold together 

tight together

evening walk together

this is thought of 

enemy of humanity 

that hold like minded toghter

to blow the 

flame 

of opposite together

that hold aspiration 

of chit chat 

grocery bying 

house hold 

scroll toghter 

for enjoyment 

but now they are 

made to believe their is tiny 

world of humanity enemies

who blow their near and dear 

ones all togther with a sudden gush

like medicininal effect all togther