I am struck by pangs

of yesterday, remembered

but stuck in the loneliness

of no tomorrow lingering.

Overbearing sadness creeps in

on sandals of wet tears

The quarter moon staggers

drunkenly on my soul,

releasing my torn heart

in bloody cut pieces

        Who will chaperone my darkness?

Forlornly, I trace your missing essence

with fingers reaching for empty sky

loneliness corrodes what we once shared

You cut our ribbons holding us together

I watch the dark night shed

its dizzy coat of loneliness.

I breathe deeply but don’t exhale

I scrape my skin, failing

to rid it of membraned gloom.

I cry inside trapped in gasping moan.

Darkness and loneliness traipse

hand in hand with no trace of you.

         Who will chaperone my darkness?

I look out the window watching people pass

As waves of them glide past the window glass

The movement of feet makes a faint rhythmic stir

Their faceless figures are only a blur

They come and they go, but none of them stay

As one comes in view another fades away

Still, I sit by the door just as it remains still

As my eyes keep their gaze towards the window sill

And I wish in my mind that the doorknob would turn

To show me a face that I could discern

To bring me the eyes that would look into mine

The voice that with mine could become entwined

But none of them turn, they keep to their walk

Not anything turns save the hands on the clock

They flow as a river and I am a rock

Ashore, isolated, and held by a lock

But who from the many is holding the key

That will open the lock and let me come free

As my mind swims in wonder I look up once more

I peer out the window then peek at the door

Then back at the window where something I see

A small pair of eyes that are looking at me!

But quickly my hopes fall again for, alas,

Those eyes are my own on the face of the glass

I'm not alone,

But that doesn't change a thing,

Smiles pass right through me,

Words walk around me,

Even surrounded by friend,

My heart still feels empty.

I disappear,

Craving to be found,

I stay away,

Wishing they would pull me back,

I've got a million things to say,

But not one soul will hear them,

There's a black hole in my heart,

Feeding on the good,

Until there is none left,

Just a hole in the place of love and touch.

So I read to escape,

Live another life,

But everywhere I go,

The darkness pulls me deeper,

The light leaves me alone,

Demons dance around my mind,

Taunting me,

Telling me what I already know,

I'm all alone.

But I'm not alone!

Beside me, there's a clone,

and on the other side another one.

See them, trimming green stone

and cutting nature's bone.

Thankfully, I'm not alone.

As they kill the living hair

the clones stare,

but they'll help- I swear.

... Will they need a chair?

To sit and stare at the unfair.

... A sight of a tear is so rare,

even more in compare

with the faces of glare.

Watching the heads they pare,

two pieces of metalware

hold by a crazy mare.

I'm in despair.

I ask to my pair,

and to others in this lair,

as I try to hare,

but their help they won't share.

As they don't... care...

I'm by myself.

I'm not alone,

but I am on my own.

Sunshine early morn

birds sing to fragrant flowers

wounded sparrow falls

love arrives in spring

vacant pillow holds your smell

empty clouds floating

autumn withers leaves

crimson carpet to your grave

soul crushing footsteps

winter chills my bones

humus befriends his headstone 

silent companions

I write to alleviate

the gaps that grow

between loneliness and boredom.

The words used to come in different orders,

in love poems and sonnets.

I wrote 48 of them 

and put them in a little book.

But now those words are lost,

just like her.

No one reads these lines,

no one takes the time.

The echoes of an empty soul

patter the page in ink

before collecting dust

like the picture frames in the closet

and the bible on the night stand.

I sometimes hear footsteps coming up the stairs

and the sadness ceases for one moment

as I believe it may be you,

but they continue down the hall

to someone else's door.

No one writes me anymore,

the friendly exchanges and genuine laughter

are left to yesterday.

The only words of solace are those of my own.

The silence follows me everywhere I go.

Can a canned heart still beat

I'd think not 

then why does mine still bleed? 

Second hand emotions

I'm supposed to know

but even those are silent.

Taken and rewired

beaten and renamed 

blue coal still beats dammit.

What good are words

if they won't make up

for a body who knows love?

I've learned to find a friend 

in the mirror

but not by choice.

We can stand in our roots

no hallmark card here just truth

but I'd rather lean lazily on you. 

Once upon a time my life was full

and love around me did flow

I commanded the room when in I walked

Married women watched their husbands

Closely whenever I talked.

Many children did I raise and love and

rock and sing to and praise.

"Train up a child" the good book doth say,

"Honor thy Father and Mother" keep these commandments, and they will never stray.

I kept the commandments, we stayed true.

NOW LISTEN WELL MY LEARNED FRIENDS FOR I AM ONE TO TELL

YOU THIS JUST ISN'T TRUE!!

I did everything the "Good Book" said,

I sacrificed so others had a bed.

I gave up mine, for others so their's would be better, and I was glad to do it!

Now time has passed and I find myself stranded and every day the same

ALONE

My children all gone far away

my grandkids too can't even

rock them or tell them "I love you."

My family is all gone now, my horses and two dogs gone.

I'm Epileptic, took away my driving privileges, so I can't go anywhere at anytime I want to, I have to make arrangements ahead of time.

So. This six plus is my only communication with anyone.

No one comes to see me. They say that i live too far away.

No T.V. Just my three dogs and...

Me.

LONELY ?

Come talk to me when you want to compare notes.

Country singer Williams said

"I'm so lonesome I could cry"

Cowboy hat upon his head

To hide the tear inside his eye

Tumbleweed across ghost towns

Where good life used to be

Echoes of laughter's lovely sounds

Of families so happy

Now it's gone that life is spent

Time seems to have no end

Just you inside the room you rent

You're starving for a friend

What you go through

You crave to share

With someone who

Does truly care

But no one's there

Sit in your chair

And rot.

It's lonely at the top it's true!

Look at the pyramids

Lonely hearts club makes me blue

Lonely my condition is

I sit inside

my chest heaving

my eyes raining

in darkness

I sit

alone

I can't take no more

no more life

or this world

I can't stop

I heave

and hurl

with every passing minute

I can't stop

I bawl

I punch pillows

try to read

and watch TV

but no avail

it doesn't work

and I sit

in silence

and darkness

and die

every piece of me

dies a tiny bit

and soon I disappear

so one day

I'll sit here

and be gone

no one will care

cause I am extremely lonely

and I can't stay here