I'm so angry at the world that I just want to...

make it so that every human being feels every bit of pain that they inflict on another living creature human or other the instant it happens so they can understand that all life has feelings and deserves to be treated with respect no matter the species or gender.

Humanity is NOT the ONLY INTELLIGENT LIFE ON THIS PLANET!

P.S. This is my Service Dog Tigger giving special love to a lady with cerebral palsy. I didn't tell him to, he just picks up on special people.

Leave the planet

Move on to another

Let those left behind suffer

Live alone

But not lonely

Watching the destruction from afar

I'm so angry at the world that I just want to scream and scream until my ears ring and my throat hurts and roll around on the floor throwing a tantrum and cry until Mommy and Daddy are very annoyed and turn off the TV when Mommy is watching her favourite TV show and I want to leave my Legos on the floor after playing with them so people will step on them and throw my broccoli in the fishbowl and... and... UGH! 

When I painted myself green I DID NOT TURN INTO THE INCREDIBLE HULK!!! >:(

I'm so angry

At the world

I just want to

Gnaw my limb

My self free

From this trap

Of life I set

Before me

I'm so angry

At the world

I just want

To pound my

Fists against

The wall and

Scream my throat

Raw

I want to feel

The pain

And let it

Bring me back to

Reality

I want to

Let it

All go

Empty the bottles

Release the flood

I want to

Shake the

Ground

Make them feel

My pain

Let them know

How I feel

And that I

Know how

Cold

The world

Really is

I’m so angry at the world. I just want to sleep. Six hours of sleep in the last three days. My eyelids hang heavy but my brain won’t shut off. I keep going over last Tuesday as if replaying it will change anything.

Patricia broke up with me over coffee and pastries. Totally out of the blue. She said I didn’t have any ambition or goals in life. Bitch. When I got to work, the pipes had burst from the freeze the night before, flooding the whole goddamn office. So the building was shut down and the client that had me on a timeclock to impress them, backed out because I couldn’t do what they needed fast enough. It wasn’t my fault, but I still lost ’em anyway.

Then, to top it all off, I get home after a drink at the bar - okay, four - and my landlord meets me at the door telling me he’s gotta jack the rent up another hundred bucks. I was barely making ends meet as it was. Guess I’ll have to cut back on the coffee in the mornings. Not that I need it now anyway.

That damn beeping at the neighbors' isn’t helping the situation. What is that anyway? It doesn’t ever stop. It’s like a smoke detector with a low battery, only it’s muffled through the walls so it’s not as harsh. But still annoying.

People keep telling me I need to have “a more positive outlook on life.” Fuck that. Life is always beating you up no matter what kind of outlook you have. I don’t think my outlook would’ve changed anything that happened last Tuesday.

I’m still trying to sleep. I know it’s completely pointless but I’m trying because there’s nothing better to do. I’ve tried reading. I don’t really like to read. I’ve tried with the TV off, and on. Crappy late night shows and all. Nothing’s worked.

I sit in the mostly dark room, with the TV flickering in the background, stewing about last Tuesday and all this bullshit I’ve had to put up with lately. I start to think about Patricia again. She really is a bitch. But it’d be kind of nice to have her here. I guess I miss her. I think about her being here next to me again and start to fade into a comfortable dream world. . .

My eyes fly open. That goddamn beeping from the neighbors’. I’ll never get any sleep.

punch a pillow

then some deep breathing

blast music in my ears

and drown out the things

that people have done

to my mom

to my dad

the way politics work

to my mom

to my dad

the way the system can damn us

my brother

myself

and I cant just stop wanting to

("Jump off a roof")

("Set this world aflame")

scream out what makes me angry

then let it fade away

©SelfTitled, 2017

I'm so angry at the world that I just want to...become a god and remake it. If I'm going to be pissed off at the world, I'm damn well going to be able to do something about it.

...Then again, the power to Do The Right Thing versus "I Wonder What This Will Do" should not be up to me, because let's face it: if you were to become a god, you'd want to have fun with the perks.

Sometimes anger exhausts the mind.  

After long day of curled fists and thick glares,

I close my eyes. 

Another curse word coiled up underneath my tongue

Melts away in a yawn. 

Envy nibbles at my heart, 

But sleep offers a temporary escape.