use me as communion

I

will eat your sin

swallow down

And

Be

Born

Again

Again

Again

Maybe we should fall multiple times just to stand firmly on the ground.

Maybe we should lose what’s important to us just to appreciate what we have.

Maybe we should experience the absence of something just to appreciate its presence.

But most importantly, maybe we should learn how to let go, move forward and accept what’s unchangeable.

When God is sending strong thunders to us, that doesn’t mean He is mad.

When God is rising the ocean for us, that doesn’t mean He is punishing us.

God is giving us challenges for us to be stronger, braver and smarter.

God always love us.

Those are the spirits of a strong fighter and faithful warrior.

-

#prose #faith #challenge

Death, Doubt, Depression, Destruction, Denial, Disease, Deceit, Distractions, Darkness.

They wrapped their arms around me, tearing, pulling, stretching, ripping. I was fed to them like meat to vicious hounds. Constantly being torn apart for 18 years, and yet I could not realize. I would not realize.

Denial’s hands had twisted it’s fingers to cover my eyes, my ears, my very mouth. It blinded me, fed poison through my ears, and the arsenic flowed freely from my lips.

Doubt tore at my mind, consuming it into the open sore on an almost invisible visage.

Depression reached to my chest, grabbing at my very heart and opening it for all the world to see. It wanted pity, pity for my well-being as it slowly devoured my heart. What irony. I could not help, but pity depression itself for eating such a useless and unfavourable item.

And there it came. Self pity, pain, loneliness. Depression had done it’s job, taken it’s slow and tedious course, yet it did not change like the others. It still acted as a lost puppy, homeless, alone, pitiful. I began finding a desire within me to care for it, nurture it, give it a place to stay. I welcomed such a deceitful creature. This became my distraction.

All things were deceiving, for doubt and denial had allowed them to be. Doubt destroyed certain senses needed to understand cautiousness, especially around distractions and lies. I was in the dark, and it ruined my reasoning, played with my beliefs. Damaged my ability to seek for what I really desired, and needed in life.

Destruction was just around the corner, waiting to take a hold. It attacked me from the front, head on and without fear. It consumed me, became my very being right to the core, and I became it’s puppet. I was silently being led towards disease and death. Both were waiting for me, rubbing their many hands together in anticipation. They would not be quick in their craft. They had to toy with me first; break my spirit until I begged for endless silence.

But I was restless, and fought. There was this light that found me. A smile somewhere off in the distance. A breath of fresh air. Love. Friends, family in need. Someone was helping, and yet had no idea.

God was there, touched my very skin and doubt began to fall away. Hope entered, replacing the feeling of never will. There was still a chance. I could see again, realization swept over me, and darkness disappeared.

I had found my true path. Distractions flitted back from where they came, and I could not deny that destruction had found me. At that point I was able to turn my body away. I would not let disease overcome me, I could not give into death, just yet. I had time, and people to care about, a life to care about.

Running, back to depression, I was determined to gain my second chance. Instead I found a puddle, and there deep inside almost hidden from the naked eye, I sought out my heart. I fished, for it, dried it off, and viewed the damage done. There God was still beside me asking of me that ruined piece. I obeyed giving it willingly.

Holding it close to his heart, he healed it until there were only scars left, so I could remember, He said. Here and now I understand I could not forget this. God kept my heart stored in his cloak for safe-keeping. I knew he would cherish it as He always had, even when He did not have it.

Then He spoke to me with sweet words of wisdom “Even though evil spirits come and go, they never fully disappear. But now that I am here with you, and you have allowed me to be with you, there is nothing to fear. Have faith my child and stay close. Your time has come.”

Who is this being?

One killed by his

Own kin, brother

Same flesh & blood

That past, a dark cloud

Later saved by his sister

Now watches over. Osiris,

The powerful being...

O, say I can stare death

In it’s face with no fear

For he rules over it—

Nothing to worry about

Little children, & my dear

I have abundant faith

In him, the one who

Rules over the dead

Ever loving and true..

Please, pass the mead~

*takes a sip*

Right, where was I?

*smiles*

With him I am certain

That I shall face no harm

In this life or the next

Osiris is the very best

Has such a mighty arm

To shield me from the rain

I can go for hours

Singing praise of him

Or dance every second

On his path there’s no bend

The only thing I dream

Of is pleasing Osiris.

Living and breathing

To work hard daily

In order to receive blessings.

(N.B. inspired by and based on ancient Egyptian religious beliefs in, Osiris, the god of fertility, alcohol, vegetation, life, agriculture, the afterlife, death & ressurection).

#OSIRIS.

#HaveFaithChallenge

Have faith it will work itself out

Have faith the pain will heal

Have faith God will be with you

Have faith he will come back

Have faith you’ll see the end

Have faith in yourself

Have faith in him

Have faith it will get better

Have faith it will get easier

Having faith can be exhausting, attempting to drag you out of your melancholy state,

attempting to lift you to new and better heights of this human existence, making a slave of the better outcome that is promised by merely “Having faith”.

Faith will bring about something better, only if you “Have Faith” that it will do so.

My belief is that Faith

a woman for all seasons

for all men who have faith

that Faith will render

what they believe is due

under inalienable rights.

Yes, it’s written

in the men’s constitution

under faith and forbearance

that their long held faith

will yield Faith on a platter.

What a relief that their belief

is promised in the Book

of Men’s Rights

but please let Faith know

since it’s her assumption

that men have no bearing

upon her intimate beliefs.

Feeling outright relief

Faith scorns the men

with their prurient beliefs

has no faith in their lies

will not be their prize!

It was in her eyes

His gaze could find no ending

Oceans of sublime

It was in her touch

Gentle upon his heart strings

Serenity, sweet

It was in her voice

Poetic, waterfall pools

Peaceful paradise

Fragrance of flowers

Taste of heaven’s summer rains

Rainbow’s end of gold

She captivated his heart

He promised he'd never part

I remember when you said dad would come back. You also said you'd never leave me like he did, mom.

I believed you. Even now, I still do.

So, where are you two?

Little by little,

you chipped away,

axe in my chest,

splinters fall into the fray,

cutting out the pain,

you tell me it's okay,

I gave my faith, my trust,

and came back to you each day,

Little by little,

you corrupted my heart,

eyes covered, feeling blindsided,

you tore me apart,

injected your venom,

your betrayal almost an art,

when I believed

you were my sweetheart.

I was young, I didn’t know any better

But you said I’m yours and you said forever

The first arms to hold me, the first lips to kiss me goodnight

And I know you only left to do what was right

Sure I was young, I didn’t know any better

But you said you’re mine, and you said forever

So where are you now Daddy, I know they need you but so do I

I know you said to be strong, but I just want to cry

Sure I was young, I didn't know any better

But you said we’ll be together and you said forever

I put my faith in you because you were always so strong

I was sure you would come back to me but I guess I was wrong

Sure I was young I didn’t know any better

But now I’m all grown up and I don’t beleive in forever