I used to know what it meant to be

a beautiful catastrophe

but now that I have crashed and burned

I know there's no lesson to be learned

from scabs and scars and shattered dreams

now there's nothing left to do but scream

and tell the whole world what it means

to be a volcano out of steam

dormant deflated and obscene

I'm nothing but a trampoline

bent beneath the weight of things

I'm nothing but a melody

singing sharply out of key

It's here

My destiny

Arrived on a silver fucking platter

And still I pause

Unsure

Afraid of a thousand haven't happends

An unlimited cascade of endless opportunities

With a swell of insecure doubts

Unknown possibilities

Hammering their insistent negativity

Like an institutionalised inmate

Overwhelmed by uninstructed freedom

Don't believe

That you can do this

Don't believe

That 'here' is exactly where you're meant to be

Don't believe

Go on... breathe

Feel the rush of the infinite, present

Hear the crash of monotony's demise

You do not need

To be a slave

It's time to cast

Aside the shade

Fire up your intergalactic flaming rocket

And immerse yourself!

The month of May

The week I waved

Away a day.

•part 1•

preaching apologies as a method for reconciliation teaching anthologies filled with self realization ditch this analogy and admit your creation was never nothing but an accident but we will learn from our mistakes and maybe we can make something from this cascade of catastrophes lent to us by our birth

•part 2•

he reached for me and I curled within myself unable to accept anything but pain

very rarely have I forgave and often have I dug my grave truly I've tried to untangle our ties but nothing is tidy and my whole life is lies

•part 3•

forgive me?

ok.

Evidently

All connect

I am

Everyone

Evolving

Revolving

As one

Continuous cycle

Thermodynamics

Quantum mechanics

Static graphics

Of delusional magic

It struck me

Catapulted

Awakened consciousness

Jolted

Promoting peace

Violence decreased

It's obvious right?!

I'm bursting tonight

Stop

See

Love

Free

Perception entwined

One of a kind

I am you

And you

... are me.

Emma

sunrise--hope and beginnings

Ruby

mountain--overwhelming beauty

Ally

hurricane--terrifying, really just rain

Noah

daisy with switchblade petals--don't fuck with them

Sandra

thunderstorm--topples trees makes the grass green

James

midnight sky--endless

Peter

river--steady until hurricanes

Cole

grass--foolishly letting us walk all over him

today I turned six years old

and my cake melted on the porch

beneath candle flames dying like the sun in the evening

today I learned the meaning of cold

it wasn't an ice cube down your back

that was a relief around here if anything

today I heard sound of his hand across her cheek

and I knew that was what it meant to freeze

it wasn't sweet like a popsicle

it was nauseating as heat stroke

but with the bite of a rattlesnake

I clapped my hands over my ears watching the sky change color through the screen door

and I pretended that the muffled sounds

was someone singing happy birthday to me

today I turned six years old

and I learned to cut my own cake

and and how to eat alone

I'm losing my mind in search of space between the strings that tie you to me and I'm losing sleep as I find the lack of individuality I posses as the gap between my teeth becomes filled with rotting memories of when your tongue traced my gums and you whispered sweet nothings through a straw as I drank them like sugar water

request to remove the heart

attached to the tendons

stretched between waist and wrist

the space where your lips

traveled with such confidence

request denied

request to remove the mind

that holds every inkling of time

in which your hand touched mine

and our fingers intertwined

and my thoughts fell for yours

request denied

request to die

to undo every tear I've cried

and remove every inch of you

like a candle out you blew

I just want to close my eyes

request denied

S lowly sinking, still self-searching.

O nly omitting outside opinions.

L onely late lyrics live listlessly.

I ntentions ignite intense imagination.

T hinking thoughts that tear through.

U nraveling us usually upsets.

D esolate days depicting demise.

E ach empathetic eon everlasting.