I've been happy

and I've felt all else other than it

and I've had focus

and I know what it's to have none anymore

and when people tell me upon seeing me

they see the slightest sliver of potential

all I want to do is tear and search my depths

to find and replace myself with

this person with the promise of a future

and I used to express and vent and rant

and I can't anymore

and I feel weighed down

by all that I want to say

but seem to not be able to say anymore

like a clueless helpless child

who needs her mama

and thoughts come and go

words appear, disappear

while motivation and I wait to greet one another

and I just wish to get to the person

you force yourself to see in me.

Cold and sharp against the pale white

Exposes the crimson red

The red of angst, the red of sadness, the red of pain and maybe even danger

And red should surely be reserved for the sad

Because love might falsely be advertised as red

But now in its grave it lays cold and dead

So, who the hell even knows?

Rather red remains both for the zealous and the benumbed

Because it is often the most fervent who turn most detached

The purest of us grow callous

Not only to the world around

But to our own hearts and souls

Because it’s the only way we know to cope

And that is why in that moment

For no fault of her own

She stands all alone

In that moment of piercing sadness

Hopelessness is all she bleeds.

The party mask

has a purpose you ask?

it is to masquerade

the personality of the one who produdly dons it

it helps wearer change into someone else

to protect self

from the criticism that once was faced

when they made the stupid mistake

of naively arriving barefaced.

There’s a pretty grim man who lives in the corner of my street. Mommy tells me to not go near him, and I'm sure the other kid's parents also tell them the exact same thing.

He’s tall and maybe handsome under the hood and the long cloak he always wears. He lives alone, and not many people come to meet him too. The kids in the locality make fun of him for being such a stuck-up, though in reality he’s just a bit aloof and shy guy with social anxiety, He’s actually pretty smart though, I’ve heard, he is said to have thought of some of the most creative ideas to get his work done.

He is a career oriented man who has a reputation of being pretty ruthless with whoever gets in his way. He is a good man though, he is working on himself and his anxiety, and after the many extremely expensive therapy sessions with one of the most reputed therpists in the county, he has even begun trying to meet and befriend new people in order to make up for all the loneliness he’s faced right from his abusive childhood to his friendless present. All the humiliation and the hurt he has experienced always comes back to him in flashes whenever he tries to move forward, even though he really is trying. The lack of human contact has made him bad at this kind of thing, and as a result he gets too impatient and rough and violent with people he initially likes, and he always ends up losing them in the process.

Love might just be he most overrated emotion in the world!

They say that wars were fought over love, monuments were built as memoirs of one’s love for another and a lot of great sacrifices were made as an expression of one’s love.

It is the very reason why poor jealousy, contempt, anger and guilt were denied their place in the history and their role in causing the epic wars and troubles.

There’s so much rambling about how great it feels to be in love, about the perfect partners and the much loved happy endings. And maybe all that is really as great as they tell you, but has anyone thought about what we lose in order to nurture this joyous yet disappointing bond of love? Logically, is it really worth it? Ever thought about the opportunity cost of being in love?

People love stories about the sacrifices made in the hope to make a relationship work that was already doomed from the very beginning, they love the tragedies and who knows, maybe all humans are sadists, but is it really something worth appreciating?

A lifetime of opportunities, a bundle of potential, a promising individual who didn’t live upto the expectations, who could never be as great as he was destined to, just because one ill-fated day he fell into the unfortunate trap of love.

Fast forward, he runs away from his home, leaves his education withdraws his admission from the Ivy League he was studying in, just to take up a boring low paid job to support his family. And this is what we as a society are glorifying.

We encourage our youngsters to to keep their futures at stake just in order to perform such senseless grand gestures in the influence of their teenage hormones, and not even real feelings. We appreciate them going to such lengths, even if it’s for all the wrong reasons.

Loving someone must also be a logical decision, as opposed to just being a completely emotional one.

Now, of course, love in itself is not bad, on the contrary I believe it when you tell me that it’s rather quite a pleasant feeling, but to lose yourself in someone else’s love is just not what you were meant to do. You are meant to be so much more than that, you are supposed to find yourself, make a complete fool out of yourself, learn from your mistakes because that truly does make you a better person, but never lose out on your whole life just because you made the mistake of loving someone else other than you or worse loving someone else while hating your own beautiful self, because that is exactly when you turn your sublime feelings into something to condemn.

The true opportunity cost of being in such a god forbidden romance is losing your own self.

If Shakespeare was right

and if life’s a stage

and we merely players

Then death might come and go

but I couldn’t care less

because then maybe

life, with all its scenes of joy and sorrow,

is the just the first act

and after the interval ends

we might just get through to reach

the much debated second act

titled 'afterlife'

and I'll keep hope

and I won't be scared,

because I do believe that

I might just get through

and we might just get through..

Bit by bit I’ve watched my spirit die

I often catch myself wondering if there’s even a point to life

But to know what happens when colours fade away

you have to promise to stay

and to take an oath

not to sabotage, but to work only for your growth

and it might be difficult not to sway

as you venture into areas gray

and no one said it’s easy to find someone to confide in

and it might be difficult to see the silver lining

but you’ve still got to try

and at the end of the day

just hope to find your way.

“should we let her play” they ask

in front of her, ignoring her

she stand still, not making a noise

maybe it’s embarrassment or maybe her poise

maybe she’s speechless, maybe it’s a choice

maybe you say this isn’t bullying

She wasn’t hurt, it was just friendly leg pulling

And maybe you’re right because she didn’t bleed

she just flees

the scene and cries and cries for someone else’s misdeed

tries to rationalise it, to put her mind at ease

but it’s not that uncomplicated

to just accept that you’re hated

to just accept that our world is dark place

where you don’t feel at any place

where despite everything you’re always a disgrace

where fear makes you feel you feel you have no breathing space

where you always feel so out of place

It’s so anti-climatic

in a world full of tragedies and uncertainties

there are stories of young children ready to bully others till end of eternity

when really children should be rooting for children

people should be rooting for other people

instead of tearing others down

we all should be building up one another

and only then can our world be full of colour.