The Cat Can Draw and so Can’t I
The cat finished its last pencil strokes just as the gun went off. The man slumped over his desk, and the gun fell from his hand. Surprisingly, there was very little blood. The cat walked over and sniffed the man curiously, then sniffed his last art piece.
It was a drawing of a landscape, a pretty one—derivative. A newspaper article lay near the drawing discussing the man’s last exhibition. The cat couldn’t read, and it had no idea what a newspaper was.
It walked back to its own drawing. The drawing was an expertly-rendered portrait of the man. Masterful strokes, a bold, expressionist piece. Wild shading under his eyes pointing to long, sleepless nights of perfecting and fussing and wailing…
The cat heard sirens wailing. It squatted down and defecated on the portrait, then walked towards the door. The man lay unmoving.
(Photo credit: Photo by naomi tamar on Unsplash.)
The Mogul of Massilia
Standing in a vat of human urine up to his neck all day long, the future mogul of Massilia had plenty of time to think, stomping the filth out of Roman togas day in and day out, dreaming of owning the very shop that had become his prison, imagining a better mosaic pattern on the floors to compliment the green on the walls, watching his owner conduct business, and soaking it all in. One day, as fate would have it, his owner croaked, leaving the business to be divided up equally amongst all the slaves who were working there, including our future mogul, though with no family of his own, having begun his life as an orphan then a slave. He’d often wondered what his owner’s secret had been, but it was no elaborate mystery; his owner had listened carefully to everyone about everything, remembering and writing down names and birthdays and children’s names until he knew his clientele so well they would forgive his frequent price hikes, his breath sour with wine, his occasionally sloppy work. But not our destined dynast; no, for him, the work from his shop would be immaculate. His former fellow slaves hurried to sell their shares, hoping to flee from the bitter, retching, ubiquitous stench. Our to-be tycoon used his money wisely, wining and dining a young, inexperienced, and eager banker to loan him enough money to buy the others out. After much wine and much convincing, he prevailed, persuading the banker, unwittingly making a lifelong friend of Quintus Sabius. With the generous loan, he bought it, lock, stock, and barrel, where he had spent so much time. While he still used slaves, he saw to it that they, under his tenure as top dog, would be treated more humanely than their owner. His fame and reputation grew from there.
Within three years, he was rich. His knack for listening combined with a formidable memory, a gift from his father’s side of the family; from his mother’s side, an artistic eye. His great-great-great grandfather, a famous sculptor, had survived Alexander’s siege of Tyre, where the mighty Macedonian had murdered the citizens of Tyre, who had held off the impatient king for six months. His talented ancestor had only survived because of his skill, which convinced Alexander to spare him. Having passed on the management of his dry cleaning shop to a trusted and intrepid slave there, our burgeoning bigwig had shrewdly watched his pennies, transforming his business from one shop to two, from two to four, and from there purchasing shares in other businesses and ventures, including the profitable beast trade for the ever-hungry arenas and beast hunts, purchasing it from another ersatz ex-slave. His fortune made, he looked to sow the seeds of a dynasty, interviewing a bevy of beautiful, boring, silk-stocking potential brides to no avail, before finally settling on an aristocratic shrew whose ugliness was only surpassed by her extensive dowry, provided by a zealously eager father who fervently wished to be rid of such a cantankerous creature instead of marrying her off to a proper patrician.
He fathered four children on his vituperative vixen: three daughters and one son. The daughters, resembling their mother in both irksome personality and unfortunate looks, soon realized that they were only pawns to be sacrificed on the altar of their father’s Alexander-esque ambitions, causing them to cleave even more closely to their mother. The son, initially a weak and sickly child, received all the love, education, and benefits as befitted the son of an ancient aristocratic line: grooming and education from the finest teachers money could buy, lessons in business and war, and an endless stream of suitors, each one wishing in her heart of hearts to marry the handsome, young, and feeble heir apparent. The mogul, who had adopted his master’s name, as per the Roman custom, of Marcus Cassius, managed to persuade the town council to append an additional name of “Victor” after his donation of a dozen lions to a show in Massilia, giving him a much vaunted and prestigious honor to a man who had spent most of his youth in a barrel of piss.
His good fortune, however, did not hold out forever. After marrying off his eldest daughter to his oldest friend, Quintus Sabius, he traveled the length of the Italian peninsula, traversing the Straits of Messina to Sicily where he met a man of marvelous mettle and all the sophistication of a wild boar. Quickly realizing the salty Sicilian’s potential, he gave his second daughter to Aulus Vettius, whose coarse accent and manners from the back end of beyond resulted in a monumentally unhappy union. Perhaps seduced by the lure of another wealthy and well known son-in-law, Cassius Victor traveled to Rome, seeking a husband for his third and youngest daughter, only to be wooed and won by the silver-tongued Lucius Calvinus, a wiry and wily patrician whose name was only his first claim to fame. Before the engagement had ended, though, tragedy intervened in Victor’s life. His prospective son-in-law Calvinus loaned his beloved son an immense amount of money to pay off gambling debts the younger Marcus Cassius had accumulated out of boredom and bad bets on horses, gladiators, and his own father’s wild beasts. Raised in a bubble of privilege and boundless paternal adoration, he steadfastly refused to repay the mounting mountain of debt, snubbing Calvinus at every opportunity, whispering to friends about Calvinus and his illicit business interests in Italy and elsewhere, and slandering his debtor as a viper in the bosom of his father. Calvinus, enraged to extremes, plotted his resentful retribution, beginning with offering an olive branch to his estranged brother-in-law-to-be in the form of a sea voyage up the Rhone to the picturesque town of Arelate, ending with the ship, specifically constructed to fall apart a short time after the launching, sinking into the sea while the entire hapless family watched in helpless horror. Cassius Victor, no fool as to the incident’s prime mover whose guilt he was ultimately unable to prove, watched his son’s head sink beneath the cold, uncaring waves of the Mediterranean. Calvinus realized the jig was up for him in Massilia and moved to Arelate, followed closely by Vettius and Sabius, sent there by their furious father-in-law to keep an observant eye on the machinating Calvinus. Cassius Victor kept control of his wildly profitable animal trade, relinquishing control of his other enterprises to the husbands of his daughters, divvying them up as Alexander had, on his deathbed, distributed his empire to his generals. The third daughter remained unmarried, claiming sorrow for her lost brother as her excuse for staying unwed.
And so our mogul waited for the day he could have his vengeance against the man who had surely murdered his son, his family name, and his family’s future.
Rainbow drabbling
Tired and mentally drunk at 3am, the voice calls out to the little child sitting in the corner.
"What the fuck are you?! Bi, ace, nonbina... You aren't supposed to be this way!"
Someone older walks in, glares for a moment, then sighs softly at the body in the bed, tucking both in.
"And who taught you that? Because I promise you. They were wrong. Them; not... Never us."
11am. Awake. Alive. Again. It takes the greater half of an hour to realise that the young and the old were both them.
Wrong...
There is no specific "right".
Never was.
Schitt’s Creek Analogy
"I only drink red wine. And up until last night, I was under the impression that you, too, only drank red wine. But I guess I was wrong?”
“I see where you’re going with this. I do drink red wine, but I also drink white wine. And I’ve been known to sample the occasional rosé. And a couple summers back, I tried a Merlot that used to be a Chardonnay, which got a bit complicated.”
“Okay, yeah. So you’re just really open to all wines.”
“I like the wine, and not the label. Does that make sense?”
“Yes. It does.”
Analogy #2,716
Menala Burmal was an exceedingly talented soccer player in her village in Togo. She was invited by Joshua Mendson to try out for MIT's women's program. Though good enough to compete as a starter, Menala's education was severely lacking. Massachusetts would not allow her to attend MIT without first attending middle school and high school for one year each. Menala just loved soccer. She joined her middle school's team and absolutely crushed the competition, sometimes literally. The other girls had no chance against Menala, but because she was technically a middle schooler, there was nothing they could do, but cry.
It is my birthday
He poured himself a cheap white wine into the glass and took a long-winded sip.
“It's my real birthday today!” He reemphasized while penciling an eyebrow.
“And I’ll say,” He continued.
“I’ll say it again,” He belted.
“I’ve had real food, drinks, music, clothes, and admiration.” He could recall.
“I’d been intellectually mine for so long.” He remembered.
He whirled dry the bits of white wine.
“I’ll go. And, I’ll say it entirely during Pride Month! It's my gay birthday. It’s my celebration. But, I must go to the parade first.”
He placed the wig and shut the door behind.
Unexpected
I came to a Pride event today. Why? Because no one told me I couldn’t. After being in a relationship where every aspect of life was controlled by someone else, that is my reasoning for why I do a lot of things lately – simply because I can. This event challenges my perception of love and acceptance. Today I have seen examples of love without restriction. Perhaps I will explore more than my freedom today. Maybe today is the day I love and let myself be loved in a way I’ve never known, and I just now believe I deserve.
The Short Romance of 2 Maggie’s
“Hi, I’m Maggie!”. “OMG, my name is Maggie too! That’ll confuse everyone!” She said, curls bouncing as she laughed.
Thankfully - we looked nothing alike. She was beautifully mixed Black and white, I was a chubby white girl. I thought that our names would be the biggest problem for us.
One night, she asked me to kiss her, then cried, saying she just “didn’t know.
In the end, our names weren’t the problem. I told her I loved her after 6 months of giving her everything. In the end, she was the only Maggie with a problem. She wasn’t ready.
Mills
"So like...what's your deal?"
"My deal?" A shit-eating smirk slid across Mills' face.
"Yeah. You know. What are you, like, into?" Ree was beginning to lose her nerve.
"Oh. I don't know. Little of this. Little of that. Got kicked out for thinking about anything other than dudes." Mills began to fiddle with the tip of the shortest spike in her fiercely gelled mohawk.
"So...bi?"
"Hey, man. If I'm into it, I'm into it. No need to overthink things." Mills raised a single eyebrow. "Why, you fishin'?"
" Well, no, I mean, maybe-"
"Then chill. Just do what ya feel."