Mother
He abused me, he abused her. He abused us all with his words. You'd think that maybe, after he called me a burden with no real friends, after he said I ws seeking attention, after he told me to shut up and take it, she couldn't close her eyes. She couldn't. Right? You'd think she'd notice each time he cut me with his words that maybe something's wrong, but no. He's "not like that". She hears. But she doesn't ever look. She doesn't try to see. She says that I deserve it. She becomes more like him every day.
Wrathful God
I would be
A wrathful god
If I could see the future.
Take away
The life and soul
Of those who refuse to change.
Those who hold
Their power dear.
Those who love to hate.
But those who make mistakes
And work to make it right
Are holy.
Those who make
The same "mistake"
And never try to change
Are damned.
I would be
A wrathful god
to keep all people
Safe.
reasons to live
1. the idea of a romance
2. the chance for closure
3. to support your friends who love you
4. to spite your enemies who hate you
5. to change the world
6. to change yourself
7. chocolate chip cookies
8. baby animals
9. to learn new things
10. to educate others
11. to prove them wrong
12. to learn from your mistakes
13. writing your first novel
14. watching the latest episode of your favorite show
15. discovering new shows
16. finding new interests
17. learning who you are
18. to become the best grandpa anyone has ever had
19. to gain more perspective
20. to save more lives
The playground at the park
I not what it once was
But I barely remember
Its past in all the buzz
I remember a tire swing
And I recall a yellow slide
I don't know whether
They tore it down
Before or after
My childhood died
I remember woodchipped ground
I remember playing alone
But I can't seem to remember
Any of my life at home
I remember I was bullied
But I don't remember how
I remember I forgot
So why does it matter now?
I remember being scared
Of stepping on the cracks
I'm still scared of in-betweens
Of all the memories I lack
The big tire swing
Where we used to fight for turns
Is gone without a trace
Like my memories that burned
Nightmare
Waking from a nightmare, I question tangibility.
Actions and their effects have tangible evidence
It happened
It happened
It happened
Words are intangible and their intent cannot be proven.
It happened
It happened
It happened
But not the way you said
Feelings are intangible. Fear guilt and shame swirling together, no matter how strong cannot be bottled and presented as truth.
It happened
It happened
It happened
But not the way you said
It's your own damn fault
Heavy Machinery
"heavy machinery," i say
i don't know why i say it
but the phrase blurts from my lips
before it can run through my mind
or give me a heads up
for all the odd stares undoubtedly coming my way
words come and go
before i get the chance
to even think about thinking about them
and maybe that's why all i can say
is "heavy machinery"
because any intelligible phrases are lost
as i begin the long process
of thinking
about thinking
about thinking them
before i speak
but when i don't think
before thinking
about thinking
about thinking
about thinking
about saying something
i shout every little thing that comes to my mouth
and i'm told
"why don't you think
before you speak?"
because i get lost
and the only thing i recognize
is a flashing sign
that says "heavy machinery"