Who?
If I were without my problems who would I be?
All these problems play their role in me being me.
Although, not all of my problems seem fair
These problems of mine are my cross to bare
May they be mental, physical or emotionally earned
Within these problems are lessons I have learned
without any and all of problems I wouldn't be me.
So without my problems who would I be?
Idk, I guess I’m like good at dialogue or something?
Read title.
Heed title.
I try not to toot my own horn because I am prone to delusions of grandeur followed by periods of bitter realization once I receive a freshly powdered backhand from humility.
I think I do okay.
I think about a lot of stuff. I write about a lot of stuff. People have funny minds and they're entertaining to explore. There are things that happen that intersect with things we wish would happen and there's some neat little ditties in them there crossroads.
I'm always willing to read the work of others and provide feedback as the situation calls for. I like constructive criticism on the things I write as I am pursuing publication and as I mentioned earlier, the occasional reality check is a good thing for me.
I like dark things, inappropriate things, intense things, flowery things, romantic things.
I'm moody.
It works.
Maybe?
Perfection Donned Human Skin
Perfection donned human skin,
and played
the violin.
People cheered
in a daze
But never figure what the song says.
A smile of a thousand stars.
Enthralled hearts kept in jars.
Her greatest fear long gone;
Who fears failure if they're never wrong?
Perfection donned human lungs
And spoke
in human tongues.
Issues solved
with her voice,
Though those who listened seldom had choice.
A smile of a thousand stars.
Enthralled hearts kept in jars.
Her greatest fear long gone;
Who fears failure if they're never wrong?
Perfection donned human head,
but with
kind thoughts instead.
And smart ones
filled her too.
How could someone be so wise and true?
A smile of a thousand stars.
Enthralled hearts kept in jars.
Her greatest fear long gone;
Who fears failure if they're never wrong?
Perfection donned human brain
and soon
felt disdain.
"How," she wailed,
"Can this be?
Without success, who could value me?"
A s̶m̶i̶l̶e̶ of a thousand stars.
Enthralled h̶e̶a̶r̶t̶s̶ kept in jars.
Her greatest fear l̶o̶n̶g̶ ̶g̶o̶n̶e̶;
Who fears failure if they're n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ wrong?
P̶e̶r̶f̶e̶c̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ donned human heart.
Slowly
rose to restart.
Smiled behind
tearstained eyes.
Prospect of perfection: naught but lies.
A smile of a misty sky,
with loved ones by her side.
She'd always fear failure.
But everyone makes mistakes, see?
So it's okay.
The Dried Up Pool of Hope
Here I sit
Edge of the Earth
Dry holes where life once was
Feet hanging off the edge of existence
I look at the barren land.
Which once housed greenery and growth
Gray and brown and sad
Death of our own doing
Lack of vital resources
Rough scraping movement of my parched tongue
Scaly lips beg for the slightest hydration
Our hope too far strained to be healed
The world around me crippled by desertification.
Why wait to witness the inevitable end?
Ew
I sat there, tainted.
An image in my mind,
that I couldn't get out no matter how much I tried.
Her blue eyes and plump lips,
dark hair and straight teeth.
"Ew"
She mouthed the words,
I knew them before I heard them.
I'd heard them enough times before,
I just never thought they'd be from her.
"Ew"
The word keeps replaying in my head
like a tape recorder stuck on repeat.
"Ew"
That describes me
What she thought of me
What I thought of her didn’t matter
It didn’t matter
if I thought her eyes were beautiful,
if her laugh was my favorite sound,
if her cheeky comments made my day,
Or if her slight blush would make me crumble if it was ever directed my way.
It didn’t matter if I’d smile everytime our fingers touched,
Or lie to her about my grade just to make her feel better.
It didn’t matter,
Because to her,
I was just an “Ew”
Odd-ball me!
This is scary. My mind is a scary place. I lay next to my husband right now, I'm 18 years old, and I met him 7 months ago. I got married 4 months ago- I've been married to Evan longer than we knew each other before we got married. I wrote a song but am a little afraid of showing it to people because what if I just want attention? It's called "Your Closeness" by me of course. It's about the Holy Spirit. Yes, I'm religious, as other people call it, but I know it as a relationship between me and my Abba in heaven. And Jesus. And the Spirit inside of me. The bracelet on my wrist says "Trust in His love". I've been wearing it for over a year, since my second round of eating disorder treatment at a residential center in Texas. Cypress, TX- Center for Discovery. It was a 15,000 sq foot house! My life isn't tragic, but it has been crazy for me being on this earth for just 18 years. Well I'm turning 19 on the 19th of next month. I wonder why there's a bird with cherry blossoms on the bottom of my laptop screen. Anyway... where was I? I used to struggle with anxiety as a little girl, then depression for my teenage years until now. Hey I just realized this birthday is my "golden" one! Did you know I can touch my tongue to my nose? Uh huh! Impressive, right? So, again, anyways- let me be clear- I'm not crazy. I don't think so at least. I mean it is 11:19 at night so maybe I'm a bit sleepy. Yeah, I am. That pretty much empties out my brain for now, see you again in 10 seconds.