I never wanted to know

when your friend told me

years ago

I walked away

ears deaf

to an ugly truth

I could not believe

indeed

I would not

let it soil

my reality,

I wanted to live

only

in the world we built

where we loved

happily

ever

after.

Gone now

so long

alone with

my grief

I empty

the room

where we loved

a lifetime.

Under the bed,

our bed,

I find a

dust-covered

scrap of silk

and lace

I never owned.

My heart

frozen with grief

thaws

burns

and turns to ash

in that moment

of revelation

before

I stuff

the lie

in a black plastic

garbage bag

along with

all the other

meaningless

trash

I never wanted know.

i find a bra under the bed

that doesn't belong to you

and it doesn't belong to me

lately you've been gone

so often it feels as if

i live alone.

you haven't been in

our (my) bedroom

for months.

i don't know where you're going

and i don't want to know.

but playing the guessing game is

killing me.

my nerves are strung out,

i lash out at the walls

but i stay silent when you come home

because this pain i feel is a lonely sort of intimacy;

intimacy that i've never felt with you.

we've had our passionate nights,

but i obviously mean nothing to you.

so i'm trying to pretend

that you're not everything to me.

this pain i feel is a

lonely intimacy

and every day you leave again

i dance with the ghosts of my tears

and wait for you to come home.

once we were just girls,

"experimenting" they said

and now i wonder are you

experimenting

with me?

i live alone

in this shell of a heart

that used to be full of you.

You've got to stay skinny, don't you, girl?

You've got to stay pretty while you can

You've got to stay hungrier for the fans

You know we are living in a fucked up world

And they'll try to burn you all up

The WORLD/SOCIAL MEDIA: Your face is rotten

Ugliest smile I have seen

Your name's forgotten

Now go on and cut yourself clean

Why won't you answer?

You think you're better than me

Go on, surrender

Another suicide teen

Your heart beats round my soul

Like a frozen day warming it’s goal

I would kill the past to watch you smile

Reading my might to guide us down the mile

The distance can’t fade your dimples

Loving you is like petting my pimples

We play cool but I can’t see our dreams

Disguise fact is calm but kills the beam

The future gets blur cause we lack the fend

Masking our love tricks us into our end

©cletus_writer

Anxiety dances across my pillowcase

It asks stupid questions; "like are you living right?"

such touchy subjects

I can't live the life I want to, cause I'm on a budget

A little bit of panic here and there

I know it's coming but I can't prepare

You can be king

here is my crown and this ring

And now we celebrate

If only for today

Now you're on top of the world tonight

You can do anything you like

And through that struggle, I made you a star

with just some tools and a mic and a big idea

You can keep the fame

I never wanted people to know my name

Behind Every Good Man

President Woodrow Wilson on October 2, 1919, suffered a severe stroke where he was incapacitated and bedridden.

Edith Bolling Galt Wilson, the president’s wife, did more than just take control of the president’s recovery, she also took control of the presidency. She would bring important papers to Woodrow, explaining them to him, but what she was really doing was making presidential decisions in his place. For the next six weeks she was the true power in the White House.

She has been labeled the “secret president” and even the “first female president of the United States. Mrs. Wilson was criticized and ridiculed by many as the “presidentress” who was running a “petticoat government.”

On a side note: Every U.S. President with a beard has been a Republican. They are Abraham Lincoln, Ulysses S. Grant, Rutherford B. Hayes, James Garfield, and Benjamin Harrison.

There is something behind me

There is something behind me

I can feel its breath on my neck

Its fingers tickle my spine

A blade or a gun? What's it gonna be?

Which should I choose?

Oh,

wait,

that's just the wall.

Even if there was something behind me

What would I do?

How loud would I have to scream?

How fast can I run?

I locked the door, I won't open it fast enough

I'm too far away

From the door, from the world

Crash!

What was that?!

Oh,

wait,

that was just the TV

Why did I turn it up so high?

And as I feel what's not there

And hear what doesn't speak

And see what my mind should not seek

I know all I have to do

Is get off the couch and walk to the door

The world waits outside

Bright and loud

But I remain sitted

And I walk sideways

So I can see all sides, but my back still remains unwatched

And I'm alone in so many ways

And I still jump at every sound

All I have to do is walk out

But I don't

I chose to be lonely

But I hate this loneliness

But I can't change it

Afterall, I chose to be lonely.

The demage has already been done

I will carry the paranoia to the grave

When they asked what I wanted

Lonely was the answer I gave

And now I will never get the chance to be brave.

This is how my life started

And this is how it will end

What's that smell?

I swear, someone just set my house on fire

They are trying to set me ablaze!!

Oh, wait, that's just my food burning.

the old lady didn’t mind being

called crazy

or being laughed at for

spending her days

alone

in her small cottage

facing the dark corner

of the room and

talking to

her dead daughter

encouraging her to eat up

and grow up

and complimenting her on the good

looks she’d gained

“Oh, I bet the boys are all dropping

dead in your wake, hehe. Look

at those legs. So slim and long and

deadly. You’re a beauty

among beauties, my dear. Here, have another

one. Eat up to grow up. You’re gonna

have hundreds of strong, beautiful

children, hehe.”

The neighbors and the world

could keep calling her crazy, she

knew she was just very happy

She grabbed another grasshopper from

a jar and ripped its hind legs

and placed it

on the spider’s web

“Here’s another one, dear. Eat up

and grow up, hehe.”

***

https://bogdandragos.com/2021/03/04/facing-the-dark-corner/

1) Did you cut your hair recently?

Because you look like a cut above the rest.

2) Are you Batman's sidekick?

Because you’re robin’ my love.

3) *offers a muffin*

I didn’t have any flowers handy, but I figured flour in a muffin would be close enough.

[I know this one’s not really a pick up line, but I think it would be cute]

It's harder to say goodbye

Because what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?

And saying that bad things happen for a reason,

will not stop the bleeding.

Because you moved on while I'm still grieving.

And my heart is breaking because you never said you were leaving.

Every time I reach for you, it takes a minute to dawn,

that you are truly gone.

Every time I remember,

all those nights in September

I fall apart in time with the seasons,

trying to battle my guilt demons

because I never got to say goodbye before you died.