What's the point of love

If it can all be lost in an instant

Whats the point of trust

If it can be broken in a sheer second

What's the point of believing you

If your obviously lying

There is no point

Even when I am trying my best

You break me down

And chew me up

In front of everyone I love

You publicly destroy me, our marriage, our kids

And basically everything else

When did it go wrong

You weren't always like this

I wasn't always like this

I should have known better

I should have left as soon as you started spending hours at the bar

But I was not strong

I could not take it

And now I am trapped with "our" kids and my misery

I could careless about the drinks or the mistresses

It is the fact that you not only destroyed your life

You had to go on and destroy mine

The disbelief in her eyes hurt more than anything else. I tried to speak, but she backed away from me, making my fears about telling her everything come true. She gazed around at the medals and flags on the wall, and I could see her physically getting sick.

"W--While I was home, taking care of our kids, you were there-- do-- doing--"

I reached for her and she jumped back at least a foot from me. A thirty-six-year marriage had just gone down the drain in an instant. She had wanted to know everything, especially since going to the shrink was dredging up things from the war. It wasn't my idea, but you can't threaten to shoot up your workplace without getting a professional involved. The had gotten me to talk, and even though I never talked about what happened in Vietnam, it started coming up at night. The first woman emerged, clutching her faceless baby. She would crawl into bed with me, pressing the bloody infant into my arms, whispering in Vietnamese.

It was the third night of kicking her out of bed when my wife started to question me. The lies only went so far before she demanded the truth. I held it in, brushed it off, gave simple answers. It was more than she could handle. It was more than I could handle. But, once the shrink caught wind of my struggle, she pressed and pressed until it slowly leaked out, little by little. The women, the bravado, the power. You felt unstoppable, you felt invincible, entitled. My shrink's face began to sour then rot when she saw me. The disgust with me was clear, so I quit going, but nothing stopped. The bloody women hung around my house, soiled my bed, smeared blood on family photos. It wasn't until I pulled a gun on my wife that I saw that I had to say it.

But now, the face of the woman I love has twisted into pure hatred. I couldn't stay anymore. She made that clear. She didn't know how to express it to our kids and grandkids but she made it clear that I was no longer her husband from that moment on. The woman I trusted, the woman I loved with everything in me, was gone within an instant.

I thought that you’d be different then all the other guys.. with your deep Cajun accent & that crooked smile. I should’ve known the moment you walked onto my porch that you’d be my next mistake but I was blinded, of course.

The way you adored all my flaws, from me snoring, to how I would eat, to how I couldn’t sit still even when I tried to be. It was all so amazing and to good to be true that I knew my gut instinct was saying the truth.

Your lips like velvet when you’d take time to kiss me slowly and passionately, I melted in those moments when you truly saw me. Inch by inch your true intentions began to appear, why you chose me from many became more and more clear, you saw my unconditional love for you as a easy opportunity. Opportunity to use the words “I love you”, empty and meaningless, to get what you craved feeding your momentarily happiness

It shows now more & more now than I am just an object to you.. it was never really about US, I just wanted US to be real and true.

I’ve let you cross boundaries that I never should have let you push, yet here I still am trying to appease you.

You literally just told me “suck his dick if you have too” with more honesty and emotion then I ever received before. I am your fuck toy you use as payment, your house whore to keep the house clean, your punching bag when your anger needs to vent and lastly your cunt for whatever else fits.

But maybe one day will come when I wake from a nights sleep and I’ll be stronger then you could have ever believe. Strong enough to say all this shit to your face putting into perspective what you will never replace.

You will never replace my dedication and devotion to you, my unconditionally love, or my pussy you crawl to. You will never replace my selflessness to always chose you over me, nor my gentle sweet kindness as I take care of you. Once you realize the damage you have done I will already be long gone with the damage you had done.