"I had a really nice time tonight." Darrel said at the foot of his front door.

"Yeah," The Devil glanced away. "I don't think this is going to work out."

Darrel's heart shattered. What?"

The Devil shoved his hands into his pockets. "I'm just not looking for anything serious right now."

"But we've been dating for six months!"

He put a casual hand on Darrel's shoulder. "And they were really nice."

"You were going to meet my parents next week!"

"But you can still keep the reservation."

"I don't believe this."

"Well, it's a really nice restaurant and I hate for it to go to waste."

"I'm talking about you dumping me!"

"Oh, right."

Tears swelled in Darrel's eyes. "I guess this is goodbye."

He unlocked the door and slammed it behind him. A minute later, Darrel swung it back open. "But mark my words, The James Devil..."

"My middle name isn't James."

"You can't be afraid of commitment for forever!" Darrel slammed the door shut again.

"I mean, I can." The Devil said to the door. "I'm immortal and have serious issues."

When you told me that you loved me, I believed you.

When you kissed me, it was as if every secret I ever had rolled off my tongue,

and you held onto them for me.

When you held me close you made me believe that your sweet touch was all I ever needed to be happy.

You made me feel safe.

You took a broken girl and put her back together.

Just to break her again.

When you left you took everything I had in me with you.

Without you I became just a mold in the shape of a human body.

I gave you everything and once you had enough of me you left.

You left me alone, with nothing, trying to figure out where things went wrong.

Trying to figure out what the hell had happened and what the hell I did to make you leave.

I gave you my heart and you shattered it into pieces.

I was young and naïve.

You knew that.

I am left with nothing, trying to figure out who I am without you.

Trying to put the pieces back together all alone, not knowing where each piece belongs,

And certainly missing a few, a few that you took with you when you left.

I should have never believed you when you told me those three words.

Those three words I have yet to say since the day you left

With tears rolling down my eyes you packed up your things and I begged and I pleaded,

Saying those three words, hoping you would stay.

You didn’t even look back.

The trees, with fallen leaves, stand sleeping

The grass, covered in snow, is lost to the world

Deer, hiding in the cave, a dark cozy home

Family huddles together, warm in each other's embrace, warm in the cold of winter

But Deer is lonely, different from all the other deer, different in thoughts and heart

Deer hates the cave, hates the home, hates the warmth

Deer wants adventure, wants to explore the unknown, wants to play in the snow

So in the dark, when only the moon and stars shine, Deer escapes from home

Free at last, Deer prances in the snow, lost in the rush

The forest is different in winter, the trees are bare, the ground sparkles like fallen stars

The sunrise, the colours in rainbows of pink, the darkness defeated

Deer doesn't notice, in the dead bushes and dying night, a hunter lies waiting

A hunter's found the prey, the gun ready, aimed

A hunter, with freezing fingers, steadies the grip on the trigger

A hunter breathes, breaths escaping like storm clouds, eyes watching Deer's every move

A hunter watches Deer's grace, the way Deer plays in the snow, the way Deer explores

Hunter sees a deer's life, sees a deer's soul, looks a deer right in the eyes

Hunter lowers the gun, stands from the hidden spot, exposing his presence in the forest

Hunter holds the gaze, reaching in the bag, fumbling for a treat to give

Hunter takes a step towards a deer, another step, the steps imprint in the snow

Hunter comes closer, smile on shivering face, inviting warmth

A deer's eyes widen, in a rush of animal adrenaline, a deer advances

Hunter sees the flash of hooves, the pain soon follows, falling to the snow's embrace

The snow is cold, the snow is painful, the snow is not a home

Blood seeps on the ivory snow

Blood flowing, bright red sin

Blood stains the deer's coat

In the hunter's hand, food clutched in mortal fingers

A peace offering for the lives lost from the hunter's gun

Deer is afraid to die, afraid of exploring, afraid of playing in the snow

Hunter was a murderer

But now, Deer is a murderer too...

Deer murdered Hunter

The hunter, sitting in his folding chair out in the middle of the frozen lake with his fishing pole in hand, turned to the deer who was reeling in his empty line from the perfectly round hole in the ice and said, "I'm sorry about your cousin."

The deer took a swig from his Coors Light and replied, "That's ok, I never liked him anyways. He was destined to become venison chili some day."

They both laughed as they scooped the last few bites from their bowls. "Amen to that!"

I blame you every time I look in the mirror and see a stranger,

someone so broken...too broken.

I blame you every night that I lie awake wondering if I'll ever be good enough for someone,

if I'll be able to get out of bed in a few hours and put on that smile that seems so real yet is so fake,

if I'll be able to cover the bags under my eyes with enough concealer so nobody will realize how deprived of life I am.

I blame you when I meet someone, anyone, and immediately put my guard up because I can no longer trust.

I blame you for the days when I just can't speak because I don't even feel like my words are good enough.

I blame you for the days I don't eat that much because I look "fat" in my jeans,

because my stomach doesn't look good in a tank top,

because although I am "thick" my thighs are just a little too big.

I blame you for all I have been through,

but one day, i will not.

I will realize how worthy I am,

how worthy my words are,

how worthy I am to live life,

and love hard.

One day you will be nothing to me.

Nobody.

No one.

My fingers shake as I complete the chalk circle, the white standing out in stark contrast against the basaltic slab of rock. I take out my small silver knife and bare the sharp blade over my palm. Taking a deep shuddering breath, I begin the incantation. I hoped desperately that the old man at the bookstore who sold me this book called "Darkeest Incantatum" was right about the pronounciation. Feeling fairly satisfied with the garbled speech I'd been practicing for days, I sliced a thin line in my palm and placed my bloodied hand onto the chalk written name of the demon I was summoning in the center of the circle.

First, nothing happened at all, and my heart began to drop with disappointment. A crack of lightening burst overhead and a rush of wind whirled around me, kicking up dust and debris. I covered my stinging eyes, but despearately peered out through my fingers to the magic circle. From the ground, a growing dark form seemed to tear its way out of the earth, howling and screeching like the thing of nightmares. It stood taller and taller until it was easily nine feet tall, with reptilian skin, orange glowing eyes, and dripping tusks jutting out of a hideous mouthful of teeth.

"Who summons me from the depths!?" It shouted angrily. I stood up unsteadily, "Um... I do?" A large fist started to slam down towards me to kill me, but the demon was stopped by the protective edge around the circle, "Fool! You try to cage me!? You think you can fight against my immortal strength!? Tear down this barrier and fight me, or your death will be slow and painful!" "Wait!" I shout, "Wait. I want to make a deal with you." The demon stopped hammering on the invisible barrier, suddenly showing all its teeth in a terrifying smile, "What deal do you wish, foolish mortal?"

I take another steadying breath, "I wish to trade a year of my life for help on my taxes." The demon immediately dropped his fists and showboating, "What?" I stutter, "A y-year of my life for-" The demon waved a hand, "I know what you said! Gees, you are, like, the fifth person to summon me to help with taxes. Why do you people keep bothering me?" I shiver, "Well, people always say taxes are absolute hell." The demon dropped his horned head, "I was minding my own business in my firey pit, and I was finishing the last chapter of Twilight. Give me one good reason to help you." I wring my fingers, "I promised a year of my life." The deomn sighed heavily, "Look. I don't need your life. Demons don't even have power over that kind of stuff. We aren't even the rulers of Hell, for goodness sake." I think frantically, "Um... I'll give you the Kardashian's address." The demon taps his tusks thoughtfully.

* * * * *

The demon hovered over my shoulder, "Ok, so line 32 is where you reference for line 60." I tap my pencil against my nose, "But I thought line 32 was about my health insurance." The demon prods an impatient finger at the form, "No, line 30 is about health insurance. Line 32 is about your pre-tax income going into your health saving account. Remember how we calculated your income status and subtracted your dependants?" I toss down my pencil, "This is torture." The demon stands up and crosses his arms, "You think I don't know? How long do you think it took us to plan all this. Also, you need a completely different form to claim your deductables." I bang my head on the table.

I am once again the only one with open eyes and a brain barely awake in this quiet house. But it is enough two realize what I lose if I sleep now. Too much to think about. I need these three more hours, four if I sleep now, there's no telling what I'll miss. I make myself empty promises: "Five more minutes" but it only hurts more, as the shattered agreements litter the floor of my sleep deprived brain. Up out of bed again in less than six hours... I'll be lucky if I don't have a headache by seven a.m... and another self-induced sadness, here we come.