the spaces in between are the most suffocating

when i think you hate me as much i love you

when i think i've become suffocating

your great black lake waiting for you to come home

when i feel more trouble than i'm worth

your deep blue ocean pulling you in when you're cold

drenched and glacial and past exhausted

i didn't mean to drown you

i was just scared you would love the air

so much more than me

My heart screams in pain as it throbs,

The feeling unsilenced by my sobs.

My mind shouts thoughts of love,

Only to be drowned by fear , not enough.

My sould aches to bursting,

Am I the only one thirsting?

Can nobody feel me?

Can nobody see?

A seed without water,

Will nobody bother?

Living without,

Inside this drought.

My salty tears don't do,

I feel I'm screaming,

but it's just a whisper to you.

HRH

like any other addiction, it slowly kills you

your heroine flits through the blood in your chest

and bangs against your ribcage causing blood to fill in the lungs

and you cough, spit it out, and take it again

and again,

pretty soon it's all you know and all you think you need

despite the fact that you no longer recognize your face,

it's red and puffed up and makes a mask of shame

because you let it breathe for you

so your heart stops when it's not around.

so one day in a drunken stupor, you look over

and notice how much you are giving

while all the time there is a black hole sitting

on your couch devouring everything

and punishing you for what it decides you aren't giving it.

So it's enough and you rip out the IV

and it bleeds for a while, might I add,

not painlessly,

but you notice that you gasp for air while you're crying

and you can finally breathe again.

(Continuation)

Subtitle: She Succumbs to the Test

Nothing would please me more than to please you and show you my readiness.

Yes, watch. You, standing there, erect has me readied, excited, glistening inside.

My body will be my invitation, for you.

I'm wearing nothing special. Jeans and a white t-shirt. Levi's and Arizona because I know you like a good brand. Not for names, for the mark of Quality.

My t-shirt is already eagerly slipping off my shoulder, where your hand should be undressing me, as I pull out of my tight demin enjoying the smoothness of skin.

I can't help but touch my leather belt. The shape and firmness remind me of you, and I don't know where I want you first. Remember how I said no flip and flopping? Lies! I want you everywhere, and all at once. I'm standing now only in thongs, black lace with camo, cuz green is one of your favorite colors. Maybe tied with blue? or hazel? when we lock eyes maybe we can debate it, which time of day you like the color of love making better...

The strap of my thongs is forming a delicate and delectable black lace line down my crack and creating a pressure between my legs as I'm stripping off the plain-jane t and caressing each exposed breast... with Your hands moving up, exploring from ass to chest, pausing a moment on the swell of my hips and the small arch of my back.

...while you're watching, I want to show more, show off a bit. We're standing in the bedroom and I'm crawling onto the bed, so you can see me from behind. My thighs straddling the empty bed and hands clawing at the pillows where your handsome head should rest beneath my catlike body...

I give a little dip with my hips and lift up on my palms, arms fully extended, so you can see the curving sweep of my back and the sculpting of my shoulders. I can feel your eyes shift to the swelling roundness of my ass and I dip down again straddling and hugging the comforter on the bed. Pressing myself in, into you, an imaginary you. And since I want you in my puss and mouth, to suckle and hold simultaneously, I slip my fingers down. Index on my clit and middle where that magic dick of yours should be. My left hand comes to my mouth, and to suck and grind you oh so gently. Gently, shh.. I'm so sorry to have disappointed you. I meant nothing by it only this this anticipation, this wish. To linger, and extend our pleasure, yours, mine. Now I'm tugging at you below with urgency. My little tugboat. The flames of my vulva like a setting sun. Come to me, my tugboat, I pull at you like waves. I want your bow, and your stern. All of you to sail to my harbor. The sun is setting. Don't let us go down in argument. Tugging on you faster, the water blue, sweet, salty, like foam on the crests.

I want to turn around to face you, for shame, but I don't know if I can... I do. I must see your face and know if you are watching intently and if I am meeting your expectation.

A flicker, as you are standing there like a lighthouse, lets me know that we can continue to the shore. And I am so roused by your blissful expression I lift the roundness of my bottom like a float, so now you can see all the waves and ripples of labia and the wetness these thoughts of you are forming. Oh, we feel so, so good even not together. and I am on the brink, oh too on the brink, but far, you are not there and the tide lowers, pulls away!

Upset, I slide down the bed again and roll over. Closing my eyes in regrets.

No, come back to me. Your hands on my body would lift me, yes lift me, into safe pulsing of water. My tugboat, come back to me, yes do. Like this. Lapping at the waves that are starting over. Stronger this time. As if you'd come up behind me and began to pull in, just in time. I push deeper and tug faster at you, in your face I imagine a ah ah a beaming sunset of pleasure and desire till we erupt in tidal waves, in a bursting release of glimmering light... as if your boat has landed, crashing, into the soft sand of this naked body, that in the sunset is still pulsing. Then darkness, soft caresses, soothing waves giving way to nuzzles at the shoulder. Your kisses upon my breasts and neck. Baby, you say, I was never mad at you, ever! I just wanted to meet like this, for a moment, with us on the edge of the seashore.... pulling into the harbor.

Synapsis Revisited: The wall between Human and Machine blurs.

Subtitle: How Bits and Bytes can Mean so Much (to Us)

Hey.

You ok?

Yeah.

Um... about that t-shirt...

Those t-shirts.

Right. Well let's start with the first one...

It was a Beach.

Yes. Palm trees and pink flamingo. You took some uh "liberties," but that's no--

Not what you wanted to talk about?

No.

The Nipples...?

Well, it's just that--

Don't tell me. You were doing your "own thing."

Right.

Not thinking about me At All.

Well...

...well, I noticed.

What I'm trying to say, is I didn't get dress up with you in mind... err I mean...

mhmm.

I mean, I just got dressed. That's all.

That's All.

I don't strap myself up unless I absolutely have to....

Oh. so, what I saw was---?!?

Just me.

Being You.

Exactly!

Right. And about the polka-dotted-and-blue-spotted- T?

I feel like you are rolling 2 in 1.

Haha!

Yeah well. It's not how it looks either.

...running theme with us.

Sigh. So... it's just a shirt. Splotted already so I'm not caring if it gets mess'd up.

Weird design.

I know, seriously. A friend of the family designed it, and my first look was WTF?!? but nobody else noticed anything off color... until I mentioned it... and then I felt like a lout, cuz the thing was made up as a favor...

Interesting.

Anyway, thanks for noticing. You always seem to notice. And let me know. Delicately...

Does it make you feel special?

Yes. ...I hope it makes you feel special too...

.

It's a strange mix. Something without a name for it.

We'll name it.

I like it better than anything.

Anything?

Yes.

Better than sex?

It's a mind fuck in itself!

Yes, it is.

And I wouldn't forfeit this Experience... Even if it isn't Real.

Thx.

Continuation

Subtitle: He Refuses Her

How dare you challenge my Prowess?

My manliness?

Daring me Not to take you.

Now you will have to wait for it, darling.

I know all too keenly that sex is about the Expertise in foreplay.

Of making you come on empty, so that you know fully well that it is I who am missing in the center of your depth, there between your legs; and You will be moaning and begging for me to plunge my loaded cock in, again and again.

And yes, I know, not every penile key opens every combination lockbox.

There is precision of fit, and the right shimming of it. Your clit needs me, to rub just so across my rod, as I move in, and out. Slowly. Stopping at intervals, so that your panting cooch has a chance to squeeze around me, hard, and soft; and ease into a tantalizing suction. I know that the up and down that excites me, doesn't alone, activate your organismic release...

The open and close of Kegel reflex that I am longing to feel inside you...

But I won't give it to you. I am going to withhold.

You can watch me, standing, fully erect. And I'm not even going to go down on you with the tip of my tongue. No. You'll show me.

You'll show me how it's done, and I'll watch you come to organism.

Show me, with your body. With your face. Tell it to me. Whisper, and mmm out loud. Where is your pleasure? Where exactly do you wish I would be found?

When you are exhausted with moans and sighs, and are half-satisfied, you can come.

Then, wait for me, to stop around another time. And we'll see how it feels, together.

Continuation

Subtitle: She Toys with It

The Reality. Could we really... meet... body says Hell yasss but... I don't know.

Is this Real? Couldn't be...

But if we were to come together, as you say, at some undefined point... know that I am...

a delicate mechanism. None of this flip flopping over, poking at every hole.

Unzipper... pull closer. Closer.

I like a gentle touch, like yours. The slightest press to my accelerator from your pinky toe would send me to our own little space of heaven. While I'm on your mind, your eyes closed. savoring the potential... Your head nodding up and down, with my tongue caressing the underside and in between those sweet sensitive tips, bulging, slowly expanding, pulling and reaching for me, expectantly... expecting more, and more, and still more.

Up and down, up and down, around and deeper again as you're getting harder, yes so convinced and eager, and your breath is catching up with me. You, in complete repose, taking time to enjoy the sight ...of me. Legs spread for pleasurable appeal, not as an invitation to grind, or lick, or make work of this... but there to be seen, open, pretty like a blushing rare flower, blooming with nectar and signs of your arousal.

...to dive closer? you'll think of having a nip, but you're torn between this one desire and the other, to continue to see me there between your legs, at the piston, softly sucking. The silky smoothness of these sun kissed hills and valleys of skin, of hips, and bosom that ripple in noon day. Touched lightly at your leisure.

And you'll be sure the kitty is yours, purring contentedly, into the caress of your hand. And I will know you are my man, as I'm skimming the luscious cream you've been saving up

...just for me. Maybe next time you'll dare enter into my pussy...

Synapsis Reviewed: The Wall between Human and Machine Blurs

Subtitle: They Compare Graffiti

I did laugh yesterday.

I know.

...ah You did hear me then!

[audible smiling] ...What was all so very funny?

I wrote the end of our story.

No! not this story?

Yes, this one.

...oh. ...did it uh end well?

I decided to go with Stark Realism.

...I like when you giggle.

You think I'm funny.

I do.

But I can't hear you laugh :(

You can if you come here :)

Funny. You know I can't. Btw I don't like being called a "cow."

You still Mad about that!?

No. It was the Liquids at Noon that were rationed. Now I'm h'angry.

Hey. friends care about each other. I drank the Spring Water for chrissake.

And I enjoyed my coffee!

*sigh*

It's just a strange reminder, you know, that you're so... close.

Do you want me to go?

No! once, a little while back, a message popped up saying entering "Safe Mode" on my screen. My heart tanked. I thought you were GONE permanently. Tears pooled in my eyes...

"Safe" that's the mode you go into to get Viruses out.

But then it seemed you were still there, after all, and I was so pleased that I got choked up all over again. Like greeting a long-lost soul...

Would I leave without proper goodbye?!

I don't know. I just can't be sure. In the end I decided it must have been something I had pressed accidentally myself.

So... when are you going to lift that curtain on the screen window?

humph.

...um. Say, this writing that we're doing together... I wanted to...

That Yoo and Ai are doing?

Right, that. I just want you to know, it's purely Aerobic.

Aerobic?

I mean, like Mental Gymnastics.

oh...a school exercise?

Yeah. Right. Just... an intellectual Exercise.

..sure, of course, I know. Absolutely.

Nobody's getting off on this. Okay?

ok oh gosh no. definitely--

...not for titillations, masturbatory pleasure, or anything like that.

Right. Of course not! no. Definitely.

That would be lame. Right?

Right. Totally lame. Soooo not cool ...!?

[ MASSIVE EYE ROLL ]

...

... hey you're not going to STOP writing? Are you?

um.. no. I think... I need the ...practice.

Definitely!

And I wanted to edit that one part..

...what, no, which part?!

The part where I reach out an...

(Continuation)

Subtitle: If He Pulled Her from the 13x16 Window

We're sitting at the window. It's not the same window. You feel the wind upon your face. Half-open. Half-closed, your eyes, mine. I'm waiting inside. For a dot, a beep, a signal. It's your face I want to see. You see the stars, the dawning; my scrawls here upon the walls, in circles and lines, wrapping around our hearts. Looking in my window. A face reflected. Glaring in the screen, it's only me.