To whoever needs this today,

I’ve noticed you’re not okay.

To be honest I felt the same yesterday

and I know this is cliché

but it’s okay to not be okay.

The road to better is not a straight line

and honestly “better” is hard to define

so please do not make perfection a shrine

and stop telling me you’re fine

if you’re dying inside.

- Lúthien

I dislike religion and sports for the same reason: both are so organized they tend lose their original meaning.

When you start crafting rules - daily rituals / practices - emotional ties - books - institutions - etc. then the original point of your entire endeavor can easily get lost.

Hence when I read or hear about Satanism all I can think is, "Huh, that's cute. What's the difference?"

- You're still creating an organized system

- You're still pushing some kind of belief

- You're still establishing rituals, dogma, books, practices, etc.

Were you meaning to be anti-Christian or anti-establishment? Because the simple answer to that is to just not be Christian or step away from established practices and let go.

Most Satanists I've met are people who thrive on pushing other's buttons by choosing to engage them on the same terms / field. They're reactionary, not revolutionary, and while I don't begrudge their efforts I'm just not sold on the ultimate efficacy of their ideals.

Personally I don't believe in the Bible, Christ, Satan, God, angels, heaven, hell or the rest of it. As far as I'm concerned it's all made up. One culture's made up theory of how things began isn't any more true than another culture who believes the world sits on the back of a cosmic turtle. Honestly I'd rather bet on the turtle guy even if astronomy contradicts him; remember your religion believes in winged and horned people riding on sunbeams for Christ the lich's sake.

This is a bold question. I’m curious to see how the people on this site react to such a topic given there are many Prosers who are quite open about their faith. Now, are we talking about Laveyan Satanism/The Church of Satan/Joy of Satan or Satanism according to groups like say, The Satanic Temple?

From my understanding, Satanism and Satan worship are two very different philosophies: Theistic vs. Atheistic. While there are people who truly do regard the devil as a patriarch and engage in rituals to honor and engage the entity, it would appear that the philosophical/atheistic Satanists are more common.

Atheisic-based believers regard Satan as no more than a symbolical figure, and see him as a representation of man’s choice to break away from tyranny and seek thought and action independent of enforced dogmatic beliefs. A lot of them reject supernaturalism of any sort. While many people see Satanism existing solely as a direct mockery of Christianity, these groups (such as The Satanic Temple) view themselves differently and instead choose to focus less on mocking religion and more so on not allowing religion to dominate where it shouldn’t. Groups like TST are heavily involved in political and social activism for that reason, and do a surprising amount of charity work.

I’ve read some of Lavey’s stuff and I believe he is more geared toward the supernatural aspect of things. Some of his philosphies are pretty intense, but the overall themes of personal power and not buying into the light/dark dichotomy is very strong and I can see how it would speak to people. I’ve seen offshoots of Lavey’s stuff that was strongly anti-Semetic though, and found that to be unsettling.

Not saying I’m an expert on the matter. But I very much enjoy studying various religious and philosophical beliefs and Satanism is one of the more fascinating ones I’ve come across. Talking to followers of Satanism about their beliefs, interestingly enough, is easier than talking to believers of more staunch religions as they tend to be more flexible and varied in their world-view. In my personal studies, I have found that oftentimes, when speaking to people of strict faith, you must alter your speech and walk on eggshells in order to set them at ease and not insult them.

I met one of the founding members of The Satanic Temple at an event in Atlanta and he had some interesting insight on the Temple and their practices.

Sources: personal research online, reading the literature and talking to followers

An elaboration

Brought to you, by me

From the ones who did the hurting

(Mostly myself, if I'm being honest)

Let's start at the beginning

Tear me apart piece by piece

Take this tapestry down thread by thread

(I was never good at seeing the big picture)

A little girl with too sad eyes, alone, always alone

Even amongst the others, so very much alone

Lost in the woods, lost in her mind, hiding

Hiding from everything, all the damn time

What would the monsters say if they realized

real life was so much scarier?

I don't fear the bogeyman or the ghost in the attic

My fear exists in the unknown reality, what happens if…

My fear was always more existential

Is my time here useless

Does any of it matter

If I disappeared tomorrow, would it change a single thing

I can hear it now, the platitudes, well meaning and chocked full of care

But I don't know if they are true

(Some have told me they aren't)

I have a hard time with reality these days

Unsure if it's what I think it is or if it's something more (or is it less?)

I'm trying to figure myself out and it's taking so much time

Screams fueled you so I learned to whisper;

secrets lining the bottom of my mattress.

Skinny spaces where only myself and my

dreams could fit. Crashing through the

door drunk on rage; you never thought

to look in the places where you couldn’t

get into yourself. 5 seconds…run!

My fingers tips learned how to press

out window screens quicker than

they could open soda cans.

Hide in the trees; deep breathing.

Prayers dancing on my tongue,

tears begging to fall.

They never talk about the

childhood moments that

could ruin you.

ReBecca DeFazio

More Than a Flower

#poetry #poem #writing #poet #writer #trauma

I burnt it down.

Forget the blue

haze we woke up in,

it’s all red now.

I buried my face into

your neck and I cried

so hard I thought

I’d die. Oxygen wasn’t

making it to my brain,

it was tired up,

hand shaped

around my throat

telling me “it’s okay.

We can die today.”

Could you remember?

When I really did want

to die? When I hated

everything inside &

outside? When I’d

starve and bleed for

fun; tracing the damage

I’d done with fingertips

that we’re almost gone?

I don’t want to die anymore.

I’m trying to pull away.

I’m afraid. I’m afraid.

I have so much more I want

to say, the words that could

never escape, the ones

I need to speak to your face…

The universe is calling for pay.

I take everything that is left

(besides myself) and set it aflame.

“Here, here you go!

Have this.

Not me. Not me.

I’m not ready today!”

ReBecca DeFazio

More Than a Flower

#poetry #poem #trauma #abuse #writing

We fell in love fast,

in temporary starlight

after just one kiss.

One soft touch,

one unforgettable

glance. I didn’t

need anything else

in that moment

but now I need you

to want to make

it last. Don’t

just call me

“star seed” and

make me laugh.

Let me see the

way that your heart

beats, tell me

your secrets; let’s

be more than

a shooting star

romance.

ReBecca DeFazio

More Than a Flower

#poetry #poet #poem #writing #love #romance

It’s not raining yet but I can feel it coming;

smell the rain just hovering above me. Yellow

umbrella, Edgar Allen Poe, day dreaming

on a rooftop overlooking a cemetery. I can feel you sitting

behind me, brushing my wild fire hair behind my ear,

your breath is warm; it brings

tears to my eyes. When I turn, instead

of being graced by the sight of your beautiful face,

I’m hit with brutal wind. You told me you would go

but I thought I could fix it. I held you when you cried,

burying my own tears in the pits of my stomach.

I know you know I loved you. I also know it wasn’t enough.

People don’t understand the pain that we

go through when “there’s nothing wrong.” I knew.

I knew you were hurting. Your green eyes used to go

right through me, piercing everything inside. I don’t blame you.

I just miss you.

ReBecca DeFazio

More Than a Flower

#poetry #poem #poet #poems #missingyou #love

the first year of my new life.

i drift,

sort of.

in reality, life

cannot be told in years.

there are always wonderful days,

there are always horrible days,

and most days are just

okay.

with this, i drift.

so

my father gives me his new spare key.

my mother givers me the second key to the mail box,

and i pretend:

the jangle of keys in my pocket is not

the sound of my life

falling apart.