Death is a common factor in our lives. It can be stalled, but only for a while. So why? Why must we live this pitiful life, holding on to the chance that all can be well? NONE OF IT WILL BE LEFT! Why is it my parents misunderstood that? As the rulers of their dimension, they should be able to stand their ground! How could they flee and leave their home and send me to another dimension?! Maybe I should calm down...that’s what I was thinking when I heard about my past. But, you’ll find out about that later. I shouldn’t be focused on that anyway...at least not at this particular moment.

prove that my life had meaning. I want to live with no regrets, and die without any as well.

I've heard countless times before that 'everyone has a purpose in life'. Well...what is it?

If I truly will never get the chance to live again, I don't want to waste my time searching for something that might not even matter once I'm gone.

But that doesn't mean I won't try. I'll do everything I can to help others, cause when it comes down to it...thats all we can really do.

Making a difference isn't easy. It takes time and dedication. I'm not denying my youth by saying I'm setting myself up to help the world, though. I'm still gonna be a teenager...until im not anymore.

If I die, I might not remember my life, what fun I had, how hurt I was, or anything really. You wont know what's in store until you're there already. But if I can at least make sure the world is better off than when I came into it...then maybe it won't be so sad if I leave.

Nothing is duller than this.

Feeling the life drain out of exsistance, pales in comparison.

It you look at it too long, you might get pulled in.

The sullen look of it brings upon new emotions.

Grief, sorrow, emptiness.

An overwhelming desire to escape drowning in such a sad color.

Death. Death is a common factor in our lives. But with certain precautions, it can be avoided...but only for a while. So why? Why must we live this pitiful life, holding on the chance that all can be well? NONE OF IT WILL BE LEFT! Why couldn’t my parents see that? As the rulers of their dimension, they should be able to stand their ground! How could they flee and leave their home and send me to another dimension?!Maybe I should calm down...that’s what I was thinking when I heard about my past. But you’ll find out about that later. I shouldn’t be focused on that anyway...at least not at this moment. Besides, we have a ceremony today at Evercreek High school. As the president of the Student Council, I should stay- “Hey, Pres! Everyone is waiting for ya’.” I looked back to see my vice president, Desurc Massalone, standing behind me. “Oh, right! I, uh, I’m coming!” I shouted. He smiled cheerfully. I had always like that smile on his face, before and after we started dating. But even so, I would get so nervous around him, that today on my way past him I tripped, which made me even MORE nervous. Other than that, when I got to the stage to say my speech, everything was perfect. Bright outside, no clouds, great temperature… nothing could go wrong! “Students of Evercreek High, thank you for joining me in celebrating the 18th anniversary of the founding of the school’s relic, the Gong of Legend. Over the past 18 years, the founder of our school, Principal Detroys, has been looking for ancient pieces of the gong that happen to be over 10,000 years old! Since no one in the world has officially claimed the relic as their own, our principal has worked hard to earn the relic as a piece of our school alone. Other high schools tried to claim it as well, but we are the best high school in North America, aren’t we?” After that part, I could barely hear anything except the cheering of the students. It was expected, of course. He was the best male our school has seen in 2 years. Great athlete and even greater boyfriend if I do say so myself. “Alright, students, settle down. It is time. Please give a warm welcome to the principal, as he assembles the final part of the gong... to ring it!” On his way to the stage, I noticed that something seemed off about the principal. His eyes seemed eerie and glowing like he was possessed or something. I felt like I had seen it before, sometimes from my past that I still couldn’t quite remember. But I kept it all to myself. I didn’t want to be the one to spoil everyone’s day. “Good morning students!”, said principal Detroys. “It is with overflowing excitement that I gather you all here today. I have come to assemble the missing centerpiece of the gong. Though we know not of the gong's origin, we have seen a certain scientifically challenged reaction in response to combining the pieces. So, for the safety of all students and faculty staff members, please observe the combination from a safe distance.” He then stopped talking to get the custodians and the high-tech scientists he paid, to lift the relic onto the stage. Scientifically challenged? What type of relic is this? Now that I mention it if he told us to get to safety, why isn’t he coming with us? He should let the scientists do their job, but instead, he’s telling THEM to stand back. It must be quite a reaction. I want to take cover as well, but I have a funny feeling that’s telling me to stop him. I know that the Principal is a nice man, but today he just seems off. I mean like -Walk-the-plank-off-the-ship- kind of off. Then again, I might just be crazy...or sick at least. That breakfast burrito? Bleh! I started to shake my head in dissatisfaction when I remembered that bowl moving burrito. I turned next to me to ask Desurc what he was planning to do after this ceremony. But to my surprise, he was staring at the relic with the rest of the students. “Hello? Desurc? You okay, buddy?”, I whispered. No response. I waved, I shook, I yelled, and even threatened to spit (which I would NEVER do in case you were wondering), but still no response. Okay, now I was suspicious! When he had everything in place, the mini speech that he gave, sent a blank mark over everyone else’s minds. It was if everything he had said meant nothing to the students, and all they could stare at was the gong. Suddenly, everyone was just gawking at it like they just saw Michael Jackson rise from his grave to Beat IT! on stage. Then it hit me. Literally! Someone from the back of the crowd threw a balled-up piece of notebook paper, onto my bun. (Which, if I wanted to mention, was done perfectly! And to be clear, when I say, “onto my bun”, I mean that the paper ball wasn’t a ball at all. It was a crinkled paper in the form of a ring! It surprised me how the anonymous person knew EXACTLY how big to make the hole to fit my head.) I began to unfold the paper as the principal began to speak once more on stage. Holding the last piece in hand, he said “Well students, it has been a long journey. But sadly, I won’t be able to see you all again. Hehe, more like you won’t see me! Don’t worry, you’ll see everyone on earth… in the AFTERLIFE!” At this point, it was awkward. And I knew he felt it too because the principal said this after that villain speech: “Oh. Right. You're all hypnotized.... Well, that was a complete waste of my time. I'd apologize, but you're still hypnotized. Ahem! Anyway..."As soon as he stopped talking, he shoved the piece into the gong! The clouds started to darken, thunder hit the gong with a loud Wong, and the earth seemed to cry as it began to split apart. Not long after, some green-like clouds swirled around as a ray of wispy light lit the gong. Where? Where have I seen this, and why does the principal look so familiar?! So many thoughts in so little time swished inside of my brain. Suddenly, I glanced at the principal right before he was about to enter the light. “What are you doing, and why?!” I yelled at him. “Just leaving you all on this dead-end planet. As soon as I leave through this portal with a piece in hand, no one else can escape!” he evilly said to me. I didn't know what he was planning, but I didn't care either. I had to get Desurc out of there! I attempted to carry his body to my car, but as expected, his body was RIPPED. God, he was heavy. If only I had help. Wait! What about- Then it hit me. AGAIN! I never did get to read the last note, so when I got this, I looked around to see who threw it. Apparently, this mystery person and I were the only ones able to move. As the sky began to grow darker, it was clear to me I didn't have time for questions. The lives of millions of people were at stake. I couldn't waste time asking why and how I could stop it. So quickly unraveled the note and read the words Just Duck. Duck? What? And then...that's when I saw it.

I write to feel. All of the feels missing in my life. Everyone needs a little pick me up, right? what it’s like? Waking up in the morning just to lay back down? To lool in the mirror and spend hours nitpicking every flaw, only to realize that it doesn’t matter. Because you’ll never be pretty. So, cover-up yourself. The marks on your neck, your bowed legs, your arms, and thighs. You’re so embarrassed by yourself, that you won’t give anyone else the chance to even say hello. It’s so hot outside, boiling, and yet you dress in your baggy jeans. The oversized hoodie, which you should know you, you got the biggest male size cause that’s all they’ll see anyway. They’ll never see that girl with ponytails. Never the girl with dresses and a cute laugh. Not the one people faun over. No. They only see “it”. The being with the 4x hoodie. The one who games with boys, but can’t enter the bathroom without being mistaken for a pervert. That poor unfortunate soul who everyone thinks is a robber or criminal because they frown and dress in dark clothing. That girl ran out of the food place because the waiter called her a ‘sir’ in front of everyone else. I’m...sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. Whenever I talk about my problems, it gets worse. I’m the type of girl who tries to starve herself. Who, out of fear of bothering others, lets herself be a doormat and puts others before herself. Thee type of girl that doesn’t share her ideas, because she wants to give everyone else a chance. The type of girl that cries is anyone fights, or if she’s being yelled at, or if she senses that someone is upset. The one you’ll blame herself for everything. That same one who was sent to a psych ward for seeing demons out to get her family. And even though her suffering, she had to sit and watch people try to sacrifice for her....all because she couldn’t keep it bottled up enough until they walked away. Can you imagine the guilt? The shame?! The pressure of people trying to fix you, when you know you can’t be. Useless. The word of the day. Then the week. And later the year. Recently the decade. Feeling so p useless, so hopeless, that all she could do was sleep it off. Hibernate in her room till she was hungry. And when she had any openings, she would grab food, take it to her room, and hibernate some more. She got so tired of giving, and giving, and feeling so pointless that she became depressed. Tried to take her own life. But do you know why I’m still here? Because I couldn’t even take my life right.Heh. Do you see it? Utterly useless. I was honestly tied of the pain. The resentment. But I was too much of a coward to do it. Can you believe that! I realize that I’m being selfish. I get it. There are people out in the world staving, without education, in debt, and/or running from an abuser or going through mental health and other tough times. But saying that doesn’t make it anyless painful for me to get through my problems. Sorry for unloading on you. I really needed to vent.

Dang. Well dying is gonna suck. UGH! I mean, I could die on death row or I could try an actual raid on Area 51. Hmmm.....ok. Pro’s and Con’s. Or rather Con’s cause there’s not a pro to dying. Oh wait, I get a free meal right? FRICK YEAH! Alright Rodger, I’m gonna have to save you in the afterlife. Sorry bud. Anyway let’s see. Scuse me, guard. Lemme get aaa.... Chocolate cake.

Two Sumo Ramen bowls(pork)

75 dumplins(pizza filling)/ sriracha and soy

10 pulled pork sandwiches

5 Large meatlovers Pizzas

9 quesadillas (the special)

Giant Snow King Crab(3)

5 whoppers( ketchup and mayo)

Poutine 17 lbs

Panda Express- Orange, Honey Sesame, SweetFire, Beijing Beef, Honey Shrimp x5 per 10lbs

Mozarella Cheese Sticks 35count

8 Beefy Five Layers/ Diablo

Graveyard/Junkyard fries 20 lbs

Sonic Halloween themed Shake

7 Smothered Burritos

Macaroni and Cheese 5 pans

Lemon Milk Milk

6 liters of Root Beer

Lasagna 6 pans

Baconator Fries 15 lbs

Sushi California 26 pc

Gyoza 45 pc

Let me explain. I don’t have time to think. I gotta eat! I’m not gonna let them murder me. I’d rather die of Diabetes. Ha! Beat that, police. So i’ll stuff myself until I die. Best way to go. Im not holding back. Are you?

I write to feel. All of the feels missing in my life. Everyone needs a little pick me up, right? what it’s like? Waking up in the morning just to lay back down? To lool in the mirror and spend hours nitpicking every flaw, only to realize that it doesn’t matter. Because you’ll never be pretty. So, cover-up yourself. The marks on your neck, your bowed legs, your arms, and thighs. You’re so embarrassed by yourself, that you won’t give anyone else the chance to even say hello. It’s so hot outside, boiling, and yet you dress in your baggy jeans. The oversized hoodie, which you should know you, you got the biggest male size cause that’s all they’ll see anyway. They’ll never see that girl with ponytails. Never the girl with dresses and a cute laugh. Not the one people faun over. No. They only see “it”. The being with the 4x hoodie. The one who games with boys, but can’t enter the bathroom without being mistaken for a pervert. That poor unfortunate soul who everyone thinks is a robber or criminal because they frown and dress in dark clothing. That girl ran out of the food place because the waiter called her a ‘sir’ in front of everyone else. I’m...sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. Whenever I talk about my problems, it gets worse. I’m the type of girl who tries to starve herself. Who, out of fear of bothering others, lets herself be a doormat and puts others before herself. Thee type of girl that doesn’t share her ideas, because she wants to give everyone else a chance. The type of girl that cries is anyone fights, or if she’s being yelled at, or if she senses that someone is upset. The one you’ll blame herself for everything. That same one who was sent to a psych ward for seeing demons out to get her family. And even though her suffering, she had to sit and watch people try to sacrifice for her....all because she couldn’t keep it bottled up enough until they walked away. Can you imagine the guilt? The shame?! The pressure of people trying to fix you, when you know you can’t be. Useless. The word of the day. Then the week. And later the year. Recently the decade. Feeling so p useless, so hopeless, that all she could do was sleep it off. Hibernate in her room till she was hungry. And when she had any openings, she would grab food, take it to her room, and hibernate some more. She got so tired of giving, and giving, and feeling so pointless that she became depressed. Tried to take her own life. But do you know why I’m still here? Because I couldn’t even take my life right.Heh. Do you see it? Utterly useless. I was honestly tied of the pain. The resentment. But I was too much of a coward to do it. Can you believe that! I realize that I’m being selfish. I get it. There are people out in the world staving, without education, in debt, and/or running from an abuser or going through mental health and other tough times. But saying that doesn’t make it anyless painful for me to get through my problems. Sorry for unloading on you. I really needed to vent.