Gods, I need you. I'm letting my vulnerability show. I have finally admitted it, I am in love with you. It is so strong. I hope you can see it, or that it is at least coming into your view. My you're such an ass, full of immaturity and just here to have fun. And I hate that I love somebody like that. But I crave your stupidity and mindless joy. I see the deeper side too though, even in slim glimpses, I see your passion. You love something we both share. And you love happiness. I watch you smile in attempt to bring it to others. You told me you love making people like me open up, cause you're loud and I'm quiet. At first, I couldn't, not to someone like you. It was worst when I learned how I truly felt when I look into your big, bright eyes. But now I am learning. If I will ever have a chance with you, I must show you myself. If not, you could never fall in love with someone who isn't there. I have to show you how I feel, even though I won't say it. But even that feeling, I can't describe. You make me smile more than I should. Your carefree way makes me want to run in rain. One small touch gives me a thousand sparks, leading me to wonder of further intimacy. Would I burn from your kiss? Would I implode with your arms around me tight? Outside you are a mild warmth, the sun in autumn, the wind still cooling my back as I stand in your soft light. But if you came closer, if your love reflected with mine, how beautifully I'd burn, becoming the moon in your firelight. So long my night has been dark, yet here you've come. But I am still only half-lit. My love is there, but you must love me. I must become a full moon, reflecting in your light, basking in your love. And for that I will wait. I will wait as all the stars die out around me. I will wait until you feel the need for more. I will wait while all around us falls. I will wait for your glorious fire. I will wait until your desire burns as passionate as mine. I will wait for you to see my want of your light. I will wait for you to wish to fill my unlit half. For you, I will wait, I will wait, I will wait. 

OCD is my father

When he's drunk and

laughing at me

and his breath is whiskey and 

black tea

and his lips are stiff and 

bitter mean 

and his words are

"are you sure you counted one hundred and fifty two cars? 

because I counted one hundred and fifty three."

I can feel my world,

Falling away,

Slowly each and everyday.

Come wind come

Rustle the leaves

Free us spirits

Take me, take me

I'm so done with all of you

Just drag me away already,

To reality,

So I can be fucking free.

She takes little pieces from the rim 

Of her styrofoam coffee cup

She defers dreams this way 

Hers 

And mine 

I watch 

This isn't the first time 

I've written of love at first sight

Why do we cover our selves up,

When it is such a tedious little hell?

Only for others expectations,

We do not wish to interrupt,

To keep from quell and quarrel,

But I say open up,

And let them see all your horror.

~From the Kingdom

f-e-m-a-l-e

A shadow of M-A-L-E

Since the beginning of time,

Adam and the woman, Eve

Through my religion,

Seen as weaker, lesser,

No need for a voice,

No need for recognition

f-e-m-a-l-E

A shadow of M-A-L-E

Marriage is between a woman, and a man

Consummate the marriage before the ring is on your hand,

I’ll be damned.

And God forbid I should ever love a girl,

I’ll fall from heaven,

And I shall inherit the earth.

Spend the rest of my days burning in Hell,

Someone get me a glass of ice water

I wanna see the steam from the flames,

No one to hear me, to save me, as I yell

f-e-m-a-L-E

A shadow of  M-A-L-E

Not as strong,

Not equal or any better

Because society says so,

But is that something you know?

We all can hope for equality,

But you have to remember that for

Many situations this isn’t a reality

f-e-m-A-L-E

A shadow of a M-A-L-E

You hit like a girl,

You dress like a boy,

Why do you let her play in the dirt?

Behave like a lady,

Sit with your legs crossed,

You are not a boy.

f-e-M-A-L-E

A shadow of a M-A-L-E

Never heard, always told to listen

I held down my rage as I stomached jokes growing up, even now,

about how I belong in the kitchen

I was pissed off,

They had my blood boiling,

And I felt like I had been ripped off.

But then I wondered, “Who is to blame, who is at fault?”

f-E-M-A-L-E

A shadow of a M-A-L-E

I couldn’t narrow it down to one culprit,

No one had that much ambition,

To destroy equality, and if so,

What a disposition?

Who would deserve the recognition?

Who wanted so badly to make myself,

and other women so unequal to a man?

There was no answer, but I was told, “Life just happens, ma’am.”

F-E-M-A-L-E

A shadow of a M-A-L-E

I’m not quite sure how to communicate it,

In the past or even now,

But I will do my best,

I’ll show you somehow,

It takes years,

It takes time,

And so little ever changes.

We think things have evolved,

Are enough women involved?

But have things changed as much as we think?

Whose names are in the books?

Are they printed in pencil or in ink?

How do we educate and how do we learn if our fate is determined by our gender at birth?

Who then determines how much you are worth?

Sadly, not you, nor not I

But Society’s watchful eyes

How do we illicit change?

What questions must we answer?

Is there a solution?

Can equality happen, now,

Or even ever?

I’m not sure.

But I’m more than my gender.

Voices are worth more than the right answers,

We all just need to be heard.

f-e-m-a-l-e

m-a-l-e

six letters vs four

that’s the difference I see,

need I say any more?

I don't believe in God.

I believe in light,

The light that is refracted to create rainbows,

The light that allows us to see,

The light that gives us time and energy and life,

The light that filters through the early morning mist and in the evening glows pink and orange and blue.

I believe in sound,

The sound that allows us to speak to one another,

The sound that lets us know where things are,

The sound that alerts us to danger,

The sound that makes up dawn's birdsong and the tinkling of chimes in the wind.

I believe in the mind,

The mind that gives us the ability to comprehend this beautiful world from different waves of light and sound,

The mind that allows us to feel,

The mind that has the ability to give us emotions just by releasing different chemicals and hormones,

The mind that lets us communicate,

The mind that tells the stories of our lives and talks to us even when no one else is there.

I believe in the planet,

One planet in eight that can sustain life,

One planet in eight that is constantly changing,

One planet in eight that houses water,

One planet in eight that has the correct gasses for our survival,

One planet in eight that we can call home.

I believe in space,

Space that houses thousands upon thousands of galaxies not too dissimilar from our own,

Space that we can see from our little lives on this little planet with our little eyes that can detect the light from stars lightyears away. Stars that may no longer exist,

Space that is so big it is possibly infinite.

I believe in stories,

Stories that can move us and change the way we think,

Stories that open our eyes to the worlds problems,

Stories that give us hope even when the darkness could envelope us,

Stories that mirror our lives and give us insight into the lives of others.

And I believe in us,

In our hearts,

In our minds,

In our lives.

I don't believe in God.

I believe in everything.