Imagine that writing is like shopping –

Choosing words; look for the perfect fit

Try them on; discard. shit.

Try again, they need to match

And compliment, the perfect catch –

Make sure they don’t grate screechingly against each other

Causing winces in those who read them.

And now I realise, with shock that makes me wince

When I go word shopping

I blunder in, like a bull in a

Chinese shop

Knocking things over;

Breaking delicate words;

Turning round, like a Laurel and Hardy ladder

Smashing things I don’t even see

Like Mr Clumsy on a bad day.

At best, I fumble my way through things,

Smiling at my own stupidity.

And then I saw you

And the veil lifted

And I saw my own bullocking clumsiness

Matched starkly against your finesse

And fineness as you enter the same shop

Of delicate words and rearrange them

Almost un-noticeably into things that are

So obvious that nobody ever noticed them before.

Universal truths; clearly marked doors, previously unseen;

Secret passages standing in plain view. All unlocked by you

With your delicately stark words

Carefully arranged

Into something magical

And sensible

And impossible

Yet true.

Dear Self,

You’ve been through a lot the past few years, and it hasn’t always been easy. But, you have remained strong, kept yourself going no matter what. You’re strong and refuse to give up, always working toward your dreams. That’s because you are a fighter.

You do the best you can. Really, this is the most you can do; just give everything your all. Some days will still be tough, with seemingly endless problems. However, you’ll always make it through. Just as you’ve done many times before.

Most importantly of all, you are beautiful, both inside and out. No matter how insignificant you may sometimes feel, you are a being with worth and value. You’re a unique human being, with your own hopes and dreams. With your own flaws, too. And that’s okay. Many people in your life love and care for you. So just remember, to always love yourself as well. You’re worth it, without a doubt.

Yours Truly,

Haley

Summer

Is just a bummer

In this God forsaken place.

Damp and cold

It’s really a disgrace.

But when the sun appears, so briefly, sharing warmth,

The flowers bloom

The children sing

As birds fly through the light

And grateful sky.

Steaming plants

Evaporate the bitterness of endless rainfall

And for a while

The world spins as it should.

Until the cold returns

With wind and rain

And threats of worse to come

A few short days,

Or weeks at most

Of English summer

It’s such a bummer!

I can still taste

The disgust in your words

And smell the vile scent of hatred

Strangling my throat by snaking its long arms

Down my nostrils.

The sound of confusion

Still echoes in my ears

Reverberating

Round my mind and shaking my foundations

To the core.

The sight of you

Being, ripped apart by me

Tortures my sleeping eyes

And my waking visions, haunting evermore

All I will do.

I can never say

How this came to pass

Explanation’s words choke me

As they stick unsaid in some part of my being

Gagging me always.

I can still feel

The pounding of your fists

Beating on my heaving chest

Demanding explanations of things without a reason

That make no sense.

And still

These senses make no sense

Of senseless actions.

Bow your head before me as you kneel

I am the Master you desired

When you called my name in ecstasy

Promising your soul

If I would only send you a fallen angel

A beauty with a beast inside

Fulfilling your lustful needs

I listened to your summons

And sent my favoured daughter

I watched as you devoured her

Feeding on her lust

I taught her well and she taught you

And now the time has come

To pay your dues

So bow your head and take your knees before me

And show me what you have become

Before I take your soul

I dont think you know what’s it like to feel like everyone hates you

because of the words you

say ..

I don’t know how to lie when writing poetry

i will tell the truth

even if burns bridges

I have To cross

I laugh when u say

everybody loves you

they don’t

they love you

until your presence threatens them ....

Z. z Z zzZ

Close your eyes little child

dreams Are a wish your heart makes

if you click your shoes 3 times

you will land somewhere no where near Kansas

oh Peter Pan. Z

if you would heal your heart z

maybe you would be able to grow up Z

silly cinderella z

oh if you only realized you on your own prince. Z

oh sully

don’t you know we hear your screams

Oh beast

why do u hide the parts of you that are not so pretty

Oh Dorothy the yellow brick road is the road you create

dreamland

Baby of mine

don’t you know you are magic

dry your eyes

oh sleepy child

come Close

did you know you prouduce more magic in heart than

in your little finger ?

dream big

that is how you stay young

oh little child

did you know that big Heart

will grow old

you may come here

to rest your tired soul

Dream land

flowing of milk

and honey

cone take sips of the land

i know you traveled far

you Don’t sleep to rest

you sleep tohave peace

oh don’t you know

we We’re all once dreamers

we stopped blowing dandelion‘s

crossing hearts

pinky promises

and trying to outrun the moon

but oh don’t you know

A dream is my final sanctuary

A safe house I can find anywhere

The dreamland is my land

The hidden place is my greatest lair

I produce it like magic from the palm of my hand

i point to left their I find my neverland

and i Shut my eyes

hoping I twinkle to the stars

of finally help the lost boys find what they lost z

Z

z

or maybe I finally know what’s its like to be part of this world

or maybe I finally Have no worries for the rest of my days

if I just let my soul rest

Z

z

Z

Z

z

i promise I will get up in the morning

And just maybe I would be able to fly like dumbo

When did I become so obsessed with perfect

you walk around like you dont comitt murder

you have the anger as a viper

I be lying if I didnt have a bad case of paranoia

I often fuck yah feelings

i am a villain

call me cruel

I Am a nagger

I jank your collar

I need your poison

I am needy

I am collector

I want your serects

but you won’t have mine

I am sinner

I cant help it

I am a perfectionist

I will wrap around you like an anacoda and suffocate

you

I like to see you squirm

I am fascinated with your demonic mind

my body aint holy

i like the way drugs enter my body

I will keep chasing the mania

I can’t keep the manic down

i stress people out

you‘ll Turn gray and old

I can’t help it

I am dead inside

I scratch and claw

my way out of the ground

I don’t want you

but I need you

I am an confusing contradiction

just love me

I know I am mad As the hatter

I know I look innocent

but you don’t know I am a monster

i am difficult

I got walls on walls

be my rapunzel

jump over my walls

might slit yah for getting to close

I don’t know how to show u me without

bleeding out through poetry

I am crazy

I am a colorful cutie

a rainbow brite child

I got a sucidal smile

I am the joker

why so serious baby

I warned you I am living inside

my skeleton

I hope your reading this one

i am flawed

Jesus save me

I ain’t perfect me

prayer hands

cause I am hypocrite

the pew cant hold me

my passive

aggressive

is aggressive

I am blunt

I am mean

I don’t like people

pity you humans

I often feel godlike

i lack sympathy

bullshit

I hate you

i lie

like a cheater

when I say I love You

I don’t feel emotion

when there’s connection

I love from a distance

I wrap my body on a cross

I am not afraid to die

I am insecure

I fear no one will ever really stay in love with me

so when I found you

I went look for reasons proving you didnt love me

but fuck your feelings

cause this piece is about me

I am emotional

I wallow in my drama or trauma

I need my mama

I just want someone who understands my silence

i am freak in sheets

I am no child of god

I slept with stranger to feel at home

I am a mistake

I have tried to abort myself

I get in my feelings

too much

like I am drake

I submerge in myself

that I forget how other people feel maybe it’s because I am victim of the abuse

I let people get in the way of my relationships

i see the future

I started flipping out

i tend to overthink

I cocked the gun

I inflict my bullets

i tell you to stay gone

because if I lose you

I don’t know to pick up the damn pieces of my heart

I am crazy

obsessEd with destroying myself

I will manipulate a situation to get the outcome

I don’t deserve shit

i often hate myself

I have tried to cut myself out of my skin

hoping I fall out of body

my greatest mistake is being too afraid

of Not being all put together

i am a spaghetti sauce spread on a white wall

I AM MESs

It’s not love if we made it

why don’t we make it

I strip the ego

cause i am no angel

don’t you realize all angels fall from heaven

#mychurchisinsession...

#idontcareifmyhonestyoffends #umightnotlikemeguesswhatidontlikemeeither

#childofherdesires

I have often been asked if I am always happy since I am always smiling and cheerful. As you know, my general reply is that no one is always happy, but I prefer not to impose my low moments on others. More importantly, perhaps, I often am able to feel better when I continue to exude a positive demeanor for people frequently respond in kind and help improve my mood.

But know this: If you asked me if I was always happy, my response would be, I am always happy with you. Even on my darkest days, a smile, a hand, a hug, a word from you turns my sorrow, anger, grief to simple joy. Indeed, the mere thought of you can bring a smile to my face.

If you are reading this, you may be sad and grieving, feeling bereft and lost. Please, don't, for I will be with you till your last breath, if only in a warm memory that brings a smile to your lips as you close your eyes and remember, I love you.